Author Archive

September 1, 2014

Sayonara! I’m Turning Japanese!

by evilnymphstuff

So I’m currently in a phase where I’m craving for Japanese stuff… mainly, food stuff.

I believe it all started with a Japanese restaurant called M.O.F in which I bought a dish called ‘Shiro Maguro Shogayaki Jyu’. Yeah, whatever that means, it was delicious!

Shiro Maguro Shogayaki Jyu

 

Then, I also noticed that lately I’ve been fond of Japanese authors, especially because each of the few books I read that was translated from Japanese always brought me into a weird but beautifully poetic story.

And I’m reading Murakami at the moment, the famous 1Q84!

20140901_092322

And with that, I’m using a manga-styled bookmark!

20140901_092456

August 24, 2014

My Panic Attacks

by evilnymphstuff

Knowing that this week I’m going to start studying Abnormal Psychology reminded me of something I have been thinking of posting on this blog for more than a week and, as you’ve probably guessed from the title, it’s all about my experience with panic attacks.

It’s funny, because when I had these so-called panic attacks, I actually didn’t believe they were panic attacks, because although I believe in mental disorders and most likely to sympathize with those suffering from it, I couldn’t accept the fact that I, personally, could seriously develop one of any psychological symptoms.

panic attack

Actually, the last panic attack I had was on the 3rd January 2010, which is quite a long time ago. So yeah, no panic disorder or agoraphobia!

So four years ago, I thought I had some respiratory problems, since I had these panic attacks, not regularly, but often to the point that I knew exactly what was happening to me when it happened and what I had to do to resolve it (which was to drink water). It was only last Saturday that, on reading the panic attack symptoms multiple times, I realised what I genuinely had.

It is a relief to know actually, because I always thought I had some kind of rare disease… when in fact it’s the opposite!

The only scary thing is that even if I only remember my last 2 panic attacks, I KNOW that they were not the only 2 that happened and I thus can’t recall the first time I ever had one and how I was able to figure out how to cope with it. One thing I know for sure is that my parents only found out about it during my last one… so I coped with all the others alone. Freaky.

Anyway, I know there are many people out there who have experience panic attacks and I’ve wanted to write this post to tell you that I know that horrible terror, that fear and helplessness, but also that it’s all right and we’re not aliens.

panic attack

I also want to share my last 2 panic attacks, since they’re the only ones I remember, because I know that although they are all typically the same, they are still different to the one suffering from them. Every time.

1. How I know that the first of the two occurrences that I remember is not my first panic attack relies on how I responded to the panic attack in question. Let me clarify: it was in the middle of the night, while I was Scout camping (in a tent in nature) with my fellow mates. I suddenly woke up choking, struggling to speak but unable to, drawing quick survival breaths, feeling both paralyzed and incredibly restless. My friends woke up at once and on seeing me started to panic, although it was clear they wanted to help. They asked me what was going on and what I needed. Of course, since I couldn’t speak, my mind could only focus on the last question and I knew I needed water, because at that moment I knew that whatever I was experiencing wasn’t a new thing and I knew I needed water to calm down. No first-time-panics. Only the panic attack and the trying to reach out to a bottle of water and ‘mouthing’ the term ‘de l’eau’ (‘water’ in French), something which my friends immediately understood. Thus I was given water and I was fine. I also remember how their eyes were so wide-stricken with fear and when they asked me what it was, I recall my answer word for word: “Oh I don’t really know but it’s nothing really; it actually happens from time to time. I usually only need water and I’m fine.” Maybe I had dehydration problems or respiratory problems or both, but I never though of ‘panic attack’, and for sure, I had this weird way of accepting this horrible sensation as a part of myself…

2. The last time I had a panic attack I was at home. I was actually stuck in bed because of fever and flu… well I was pretty bad, and the reason I was in such a condition was because I purposefully went out (it was a Saturday) although I wasn’t feeling well in the morning. It was my last day as a scout member and I had this urge to see my friends one last time, you see. Anyway, so I was in bed and both my parents were here with me, I think they were getting some medication ready for me or something. Then, the attack happened. And it was the very first time my parents witnessed one of these. By the way,  I think that I never told my parents about it because I didn’t feel it was really urgent or serious. Anyway, the worst thing during that particular attack. was it was my very very worst panic attack ever. This time, it was so intense I really thought that I was going to die if I didn’t sip water in time. Yeah, I felt like a bomb, ready to go off at any second. I had no idea how much time was left for me. I really started to panic, more than before, but… my parents didn’t do anything!!! They were so shocked that they were paralyzed as much as I was. And although I know I shouldn’t have felt that way, I was completely furious because I blamed them for not reacting quickly and giving me water. (Well they did finally understood that I needed water by the way I was frantically trying to say ‘de l’eau’!)

Actually I believed and I still believe that I was so angry that my panic attacks totally stopped! The thing is that on that last occurrence a new fear sprouted: that of being left alone in the middle of a crowd, which was watching me suffer and did nothing to help me. I had a similar dream when I was young and on that Saturday it just felt that the dream was coming true except that instead of a crowd there were my parents… which was worse!

Anyway, that’s my panic attack story.

Have a nice weekend!

An Evil Nymph.

August 15, 2014

Technological Anxiety Disorder!?

by evilnymphstuff

**Surely this is a continuation of my Psychology series – for the first time in Malaysia at last!!! – where I write down whatever crazy observations I make about mental and personality… derangements (I don’t have a degree yet – just started my BA actually! – so ‘health’ or ‘disorders’ would be too professional, which I’m not. At all.). Actually just read for fun or if you like to overthink like me and crave for thought-provoking stuff.**

I don’t know about you but every time my laptop undergoes an installation of any kind of programs, I freak out about the possibility that it will fail and eventually ruin my laptop forever.

laptop

I have this irrational fear that I will lose my laptop, in the figurative sense, that is, that it will cease to function.

August 4, 2014

I Missed My Blog’s 3rd Anniversary!!!

by evilnymphstuff

So An Evil Nymph’s blog turned 3 on the 1st August… and I totally missed it! I mean, I knew I knew it but on the very day I just forgot about it! I can’t believe it!

I guess I’m getting pretty occupied by my studies :P I even forgot to share my very first video in Malaysia here with you… So here it is, one week later:

Anyway, to get back to the subject… I’ve been blogging for 3 years already! Wow! And so much has happened in those years! New hobbies arise every time… and this time, a new living environment for me as well.

I actually had to go to my school’s organized Kuala Lumpur tour for the international students on Saturday so I also guess that I was so excited about that the day before that I forgot about the anniversary xP But to compensate, here are a few photos of the beautiful country I now am in:

July 26, 2014

What I Hate/Love About Living In Malaysia

by evilnymphstuff

Hey everyone!!! If you were wondering, no my Malaysian plane didn’t crash!

I just took my time to settle and adapt to the new environment… and finish all the paperwork concerning the fact that I’m an international student.

malaysia selfie

And now I’m free until Wednesday! (when classes will started)

So, the last time I was in Malaysia, I was there as a tourist, but upon arriving last week I realised that being a tourist and being a temporary resident are entirely different! Obviously, the latter is the hardest one. Thus, instead of 10 Awesome Things I did in Malaysia (my 2 year old post), here’s a more balanced post about things I love but also things I actually don’t like at all here (yes I was so stunned that such a list could even exist for Malaysia!).

Since I like to be optimistic, I’ll start with the ‘bad news’ first ;)

WHAT I HATE ABOUT LIVING IN MALAYSIA

1. THE CLIMATE!

It is way too hot and way too dry, and if you are easily dehydrated like me… it will be really hard to adapt to that suffocating air that I have to breathe everyday when I’m not in an air-conditioned room. I actually had a lot of difficulty breathing properly for the first few days (with some level of dizziness as well) and it scared me, because I thought I would never be able to go out, eat out in the streets where everything is cheaper (which is awesome for a student like me with a budget) and better in taste (if you love local food like me)! However after one week… I feel much better (no more respiratory problems so far) and I think in one month I’ll be even more at ease going outside.

Tip: drink a lot of water!!! And I also leave my window open especially at night to let air flow in and out… (unfortunately my air-con usage is limited where I live at the moment so…)

July 16, 2014

GOING TO MALAYSIA!!! (again)

by evilnymphstuff

So I’m flying to Malaysia today! For those of you who have been following this blog for a loooong time… you surely remember that in April 2012 I went to Malaysia as well… and wrote this crazy post about 10 Awesome Things I did in Malaysia! LOL

And I realise that, since I created this blog, all the foreign countries I travel to are… well it’s only and always Malaysia!

malaysia

Wow I was so different! I mean… my hairstyle changed drastically in 2 years!

So I’m going back again… but this time for a different purpose: not for holidays but for STUDIES! Yay! Psychology and writing and film and more arts… It’s so exciting! My degree will last for three years but I may occasionally come back to my home country (Mauritius) during school holidays :)

Anyway this means that the next time you’ll see a post on this blog, I will be in my campus room in Malaysia!

Of course, I’ll tell you everything about everything ;)

And while you’re patiently waiting to hear my news… here’s my newest and the last vlog filmed in my country:

So I’ll post any updates as soon as I can ;) And if you want you can also find me on Twitter and Instagram!

BYE EVERYONE!

An Evil Nymph.

 

July 10, 2014

My Inner Critic

by evilnymphstuff

Sometimes it happens that I compare my work to others’. Don’t you?

And sometimes it makes me see my work like something which isn’t even worth to be called ‘work’, you know what I mean?

That’s what happened when I watched my previous and old videos (out of boredom) on YouTube… I suddenly found so many flaws in every vlog and I wasn’t even proud of any of them anymore.

My oral English skills aren’t even that good, are they? I’m such a bad actress, ain’t I? No drama/performing arts club would ever accept me, right?

However, instead of being down and angry, I was immediately motivated to do better videos next time. And when I mean ‘immediately’… I meant that I put down an idea on paper right away and acted it out the very next day… I mean, morning.

And here’s the video:

Yeah, tip: if you’re out of ideas, make something about being out of ideas; if you’re being overwhelmed by your inner critic, yeah make something about that! ;)

Frankly, I never thought I would have been that person one day; I never thought that seeing what I do as being ‘bad’ would push me to work harder and make a better job the next time. I always thought I was the kind who would end up being depressed and discouraged… well, maybe I was like that before, I can’t remember.

But the most important thing is that I’m not now. I’m stronger.

:)

Cheers!

An Evil Nymph.

July 7, 2014

My #100happydays Challenge… COMPLETED!

by evilnymphstuff

As most of you know I have been doing the 100happydays challenge on Instagram (@dkwaye) and last Tuesday… I COMPLETED IT! Why did it take me so long to tell you on this blog? Well, you know, schedules… and VLOG:

In which I explain everything about my experience with the challenge and in which I have been able to compile all the 100 photos for your visual pleasure! :)

But if you want to see all the images at your own pace, there’s always my instagram ;)

Cheers and stay positive!

An Evil Nymph.

July 3, 2014

I Am Angry… And I Can’t Bear It Anymore

by evilnymphstuff

**Surely this is a continuation of my Psychology series where I write down whatever crazy observations I make about mental and personality… derangements (I don’t have a degree yet so ‘health’ or ‘disorders’ would be too professional, which I’m not. At all.). Actually just read for fun or if you like to overthink like me and crave for thought-provoking stuff.**

Read that title again. Now, what if I had written ‘I am depressed… and I can’t bear it anymore’? You’d have a different response to that, right? So being sad and letting that feeling eat you from your insides are alarming and should even be clinically considered, but being angry and letting that feeling eat you from your insides are not?

What I want to mainly point out in this post is that I’ve been surprised to discover that ‘anger’ is neglected by the exceptional APA (American Psycho Association, something like that :P) while ‘depression’ is well… it’s all over the place among the pages of the DSM (Bible of Psys)! Wtf?

anger

Before you tell me, hey but there’s the Intermittent Explosive Disorder that’s all about being angry, you should reflect on the fact that it’s not called ‘Anger Disorder’ which only adds to the realisation that this disorder only focuses on only one type of anger (among manyyy)… which is poor compared to the amount of different types of depression that officially exist!

June 29, 2014

Weekly Photo Challenge | Contrasts

by evilnymphstuff

contrast

ContrastIsn’t it wonderful that such a little black box known as the camera can absorb so many patterns of light know as photos? :P

Anyway… I had actually planned to continue my Psychology series today but… I’m actually… sick. :( so I can’t really think straight.

But I was lucky I was able to make a vlog this week before my throat went down and you can check it out at my ‘Vlogging Channel’ tab!

Have a great Sunday!

An Evil Nymph.

June 23, 2014

Why Do I Want To Be A Writer?

by evilnymphstuff

This is a common question that is often asked, although very hard to answer. It’s like asking: why do you like chocolate? or why do you like that particular colour?

But I finally got an answer!! Sometimes, it’s really helpful to think WAY too much… ;)

So… why do I want to be a writer? Why did my 9-year-old self have this dream and passion and why, even after a decade, do I still have it?

June 21, 2014

BOOKS VS MOVIE ADAPTATIONS!

by evilnymphstuff

This has been and, I feel, will always be a never-ending debate in our world. Books being adapted into movies. Bookworms against the cinematic world. In in this post, I just want to share my opinion about this issue.

Or opinions.

Actually my point of view about this subject has evolved as the years have passed, through the three stages as follows:

Stage 1:

I know most of you have been in this mindset: THE BOOK IS WAY BETTER THAN THE MOVIE!!!

Yes don’t worry I sided 100% with books too a few years earlier. I would always read first, or even if I couldn’t do so, still I would fiercely be excited about how the movie is so different and how the book was like… GOD, compared to a mere mortal…

I think it’s childish though that kind of behaviour… It’s stubborn as well and today it only reminds me of narrow-mindedness (like homophobia, though that’s too much of a serious thing) and… well, fangirling, which I always tend to frown at, although I admit I totally fangirl about Game of Thrones haha!

June 17, 2014

I Feel Busy

by evilnymphstuff

I think it’s psychological. I feel that I’m busy although I’m not.

I don’t have school and, except on the days that I go out with friends, stay at home most of the time! I’m still doing my Goodreads reading challenge 2014 and my 100happydays challenge on Instagram, but I’ve finished my bigger projects such as my Model Photography one and writing a 100k novel, which I’m revising on a few occasions.

Clearly, for me that lifestyle doesn’t define ‘busy’ at all.

I’m actually on a long vacation which extends from high school graduation to going to university.

June 9, 2014

Is It Love Or Idolatry?

by evilnymphstuff

This should have been posted during the weekend, but anyway…

FOR THOSE WHO ARE NEW HERE:

~ Being a future psychology student, I decided to create a new category of posts here on An Evil Nymph’s Blog which will be dealing with some of my weird and crazy theories of life and people. For fun, of course since I don’t have a degree yet. Also I’m not trying to make generalisations and it’ll be best that, as you read on, you imagine putting in the word ‘maybe’ in every sentence. These are only my 19 year old opinions. Anyway, scroll down at your own risk… and enjoy! ~

***

Love and idolatry can easily be merged together and at that point it is very difficult even to tell them apart.

However that’s exactly what I’ll try to do.

Going directly to the point, I believe that the main difference between those two states, which lovers can easily fall in either way, is the degree of communication.

Comparing two people who love each other and those who idolise each other: in the former relationship, the feeling of love grows as the communication and how much they know each other grows, while in the latter, not only there may be stagnant communication but accompanied with an increase in an artificial ideal of the other.

Nevertheless, it’s usually more complicated and confusing than that… as often it is love itself which transforms into idolatry and this is where the lover gets lost… Has love disappeared yet? Is the other put on a godly pedestal? Or is that idolatry still inoffensive, only being a sign of that greater love?

love

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