Posts tagged ‘personal’

October 27, 2014

I Have No Online Life Anymore!

by evilnymphstuff

Okay, I have not been blogging for almost two months!

But I’m not dead. I’m still here!

I have also barely been on my Twitter and my YouTube. I kind of update my Instagram from time to time but it’s not like before anymore. My Facebook is the most active I believe because whatever happens in university is posted on Facebook.

And university life just took hold on me completely.

It’s not only about assignments and class tests and upcoming exams and putting my studies first, but also greatly about other activities I’ve been intensely involved with, like the Performing Arts club in school, and also travelling around, going to a music gig, tasting everything everywhere, hanging out with my new friends, dreaming about the opportunities here…

My life has never been so filled. Because for the first time ever since I discovered online communities in 2010, I’ve neglected this online life of mine, no, I’ve forgotten about it! That’s what being an international university student did to me. I have never felt more real and passionate; I have never felt so close to my dreams.

I feel so happy to be here.

rain-3216

I will be blogging from time to time to keep you updated :P

About my YouTube channel though… I have no idea what it’s becoming XD

Anyway, have a great week everyone!

And don’t forget to LIVE!!!

An Evil Nymph.

August 24, 2014

My Panic Attacks

by evilnymphstuff

Knowing that this week I’m going to start studying Abnormal Psychology reminded me of something I have been thinking of posting on this blog for more than a week and, as you’ve probably guessed from the title, it’s all about my experience with panic attacks.

It’s funny, because when I had these so-called panic attacks, I actually didn’t believe they were panic attacks, because although I believe in mental disorders and most likely to sympathize with those suffering from it, I couldn’t accept the fact that I, personally, could seriously develop one of any psychological symptoms.

panic attack

Actually, the last panic attack I had was on the 3rd January 2010, which is quite a long time ago. So yeah, no panic disorder or agoraphobia!

So four years ago, I thought I had some respiratory problems, since I had these panic attacks, not regularly, but often to the point that I knew exactly what was happening to me when it happened and what I had to do to resolve it (which was to drink water). It was only last Saturday that, on reading the panic attack symptoms multiple times, I realised what I genuinely had.

It is a relief to know actually, because I always thought I had some kind of rare disease… when in fact it’s the opposite!

The only scary thing is that even if I only remember my last 2 panic attacks, I KNOW that they were not the only 2 that happened and I thus can’t recall the first time I ever had one and how I was able to figure out how to cope with it. One thing I know for sure is that my parents only found out about it during my last one… so I coped with all the others alone. Freaky.

Anyway, I know there are many people out there who have experience panic attacks and I’ve wanted to write this post to tell you that I know that horrible terror, that fear and helplessness, but also that it’s all right and we’re not aliens.

panic attack

I also want to share my last 2 panic attacks, since they’re the only ones I remember, because I know that although they are all typically the same, they are still different to the one suffering from them. Every time.

1. How I know that the first of the two occurrences that I remember is not my first panic attack relies on how I responded to the panic attack in question. Let me clarify: it was in the middle of the night, while I was Scout camping (in a tent in nature) with my fellow mates. I suddenly woke up choking, struggling to speak but unable to, drawing quick survival breaths, feeling both paralyzed and incredibly restless. My friends woke up at once and on seeing me started to panic, although it was clear they wanted to help. They asked me what was going on and what I needed. Of course, since I couldn’t speak, my mind could only focus on the last question and I knew I needed water, because at that moment I knew that whatever I was experiencing wasn’t a new thing and I knew I needed water to calm down. No first-time-panics. Only the panic attack and the trying to reach out to a bottle of water and ‘mouthing’ the term ‘de l’eau’ (‘water’ in French), something which my friends immediately understood. Thus I was given water and I was fine. I also remember how their eyes were so wide-stricken with fear and when they asked me what it was, I recall my answer word for word: “Oh I don’t really know but it’s nothing really; it actually happens from time to time. I usually only need water and I’m fine.” Maybe I had dehydration problems or respiratory problems or both, but I never though of ‘panic attack’, and for sure, I had this weird way of accepting this horrible sensation as a part of myself…

2. The last time I had a panic attack I was at home. I was actually stuck in bed because of fever and flu… well I was pretty bad, and the reason I was in such a condition was because I purposefully went out (it was a Saturday) although I wasn’t feeling well in the morning. It was my last day as a scout member and I had this urge to see my friends one last time, you see. Anyway, so I was in bed and both my parents were here with me, I think they were getting some medication ready for me or something. Then, the attack happened. And it was the very first time my parents witnessed one of these. By the way,  I think that I never told my parents about it because I didn’t feel it was really urgent or serious. Anyway, the worst thing during that particular attack. was it was my very very worst panic attack ever. This time, it was so intense I really thought that I was going to die if I didn’t sip water in time. Yeah, I felt like a bomb, ready to go off at any second. I had no idea how much time was left for me. I really started to panic, more than before, but… my parents didn’t do anything!!! They were so shocked that they were paralyzed as much as I was. And although I know I shouldn’t have felt that way, I was completely furious because I blamed them for not reacting quickly and giving me water. (Well they did finally understood that I needed water by the way I was frantically trying to say ‘de l’eau’!)

Actually I believed and I still believe that I was so angry that my panic attacks totally stopped! The thing is that on that last occurrence a new fear sprouted: that of being left alone in the middle of a crowd, which was watching me suffer and did nothing to help me. I had a similar dream when I was young and on that Saturday it just felt that the dream was coming true except that instead of a crowd there were my parents… which was worse!

Anyway, that’s my panic attack story.

Have a nice weekend!

An Evil Nymph.

February 22, 2014

It’s Never Too Late… For A Selfie!

by evilnymphstuff

It’s never too late for a new blog post either!

For those of you who love to participate in the Weekly Photo Challenge as much as I do you may notice how the title relates to the fact that I haven’t been blogging for two weeks but I really want to remedy to that by still giving a shot at one of the challenges I missed which was ‘Selfie’.

1st take:

selfie with Teddy

You can actually find this photo on my Instagram. Follow me @dkwaye !

January 25, 2014

The Blogger’s Block

by evilnymphstuff

You’ve heard about the writer’s block, the artist’s. Well, here I’m going to talk to you about the blogger’s. Because, yes, bloggers can have this sudden drain of inspiration for new posts and thus are unable to go further into their blogging journey.

And I think that’s exactly what’s been hitting me these last few days.

flower bush

 

(Here’s a random photo I took recently to make this post more colourful hehe)

Sometimes we just get caught up with other things as life gets in the way…

September 17, 2013

The Story Of My Very First Art Exhibition

by evilnymphstuff

Saturday 14th September 2013.

I was really nervous. Especially that they would not only be exhibiting my painting, but also my portfolio and the idea of so many people going through my drawings just freaked me out. I’m very sensible about my art and although I should think about that, I can’t help but wonder whether people like what they see or not.

At the CCEF, there are two categories of art courses: one is the adult one, from 14 years old and up, like the one I got myself into, and the second is for the smaller ones, the children one.

On the day of the exhibition, the works of the younger ones were hung on the wall outside in the common corridor while ours were waiting for us in the exhibition room.

The cocktail party wouldn’t begin before 16.30 but together with my parents I arrived at 16.20. I had more than enough time to admire the children’s drawings, all so filled with talent :) The children’s group was already present and waiting as well, By 16.30 my friends came and soon the director of the Centre let us in the exhibition room. My friends and I waited a little, allowing the children to go first and finally went in…

panorama art exhibition

(I tried the panorama option, so as to get the whole room all together)

panorama art exhibition

And there they were, all of our works, paintings, on the walls, shining in artificial light.

Without wasting a single moment, parents and friends all urged us, the masters of our masterpieces to pose next to our work so that they would capture this moment with their cameras ;) That moment was actually so funny because we were just… lost in all this jungle of people staring at our work, taking photos… taking space as well. And the room wasn’t that big. But we finally made it to get to the front:

September 7, 2013

10 Random Facts About Me!

by evilnymphstuff

Or mainly… about a crazy artist! Haha! Here’s the video:

I love the thumbnail I did for this one, since it’s so weird:

an evil crazy artist

Keep watching the video to discover why I chose this as the thumbnail ;)

Until next time,

An Evil Nymph.

May 14, 2013

My First Tattoo: Did It Hurt?

by evilnymphstuff

On Friday 3 May I celebrated my 18th birthday and the very next day I ordered my long awaited gift: my very first tattoo!

For those who have commented on my birthday post, I thank you all so much for your wishes and I’m sorry if I didn’t reply to any of you, but there are actually like 30 comments and I wouldn’t write ‘Thank you’ 30 times, although I thank you 1000 times! :)

thank you for birthday wishes

Then, some of you have asked the very frequently asked question when someone gets a tattoo, especially for the first time: did it hurt?

February 25, 2013

When Evil Learns To Love…

by evilnymphstuff

With all that St Valentine’s Day stuff going around for a while since now more than a week, I’ve been reflecting a lot on Love. I believe that my faithful readers know that perfectly, since most of my previous posts revolve around it, whether in a romantic or gloomy way.

But recently, I’ve felt Her coming back.

And by Her, I mean, An Evil Nymph.

sexy anime girl blue power

 

February 1, 2013

Love Changes People…

by evilnymphstuff

It’s Friday! Yeah! So as promised, here’s my weekly contribution to this week’s Picture it & Write:

love changes people

Falling in love… who would ever want to even fall?

It seems like walking without looking at your feet, with the unconscious knowledge of the destination, and then suddenly, there’s a precipice.

And you fall.

January 28, 2013

Am I A Workaholic?

by evilnymphstuff

workaholicFrom Wikipedia, “A workaholic is a person who is addicted to work. The term generally implies that the person enjoys their work; it can also imply that they simply feel compelled to do it.”

Okay… Personally, I don’t like factual definitions, thus let’s continue in my own way:

I’ve never really thought about it in the past, but I might be a workaholic. How?

The thing is I don’t only enjoy working (here, I don’t consider work as the thing you do to earn a living since I’m still a teen, but I’m talking about everything that demands physical or mental effort) or feel compelled to work (that would be school work) but I also search for work. What I mean is that I like to keep myself busy. I’d hate to remain idle one moment. That’s why I’ve got so many hobbies.

January 14, 2013

5 Reasons Why I Prefer Evil Characters

by evilnymphstuff

therese desqueyroux françois mauriacLes « coeurs sur la main » n’ont pas d’histoire ; mais je connais celle des coeurs enfouis et tout mêlés à un corps de boue.

This French quote from François Mauriac very much describes my main motivation for siding with evil characters in my stories. I can’t really translate it though, because in English it won’t have that same impact it had on me, you see… The French language has a particular (charming and poetic) style that I just can’t reproduce in English. But basically, Mauriac tells us that he prefers to write on those who are ‘evil’ and unconventional instead of those who are good and virtuous.

I can totally understand why. (And I totally understand Mauriac thus that’s why I’m in love with his book, Thérèse Desqueyroux).

January 6, 2013

I Hope You Are Not Narrow-Minded

by evilnymphstuff

narrow-mindedNarrow-mindedness kills, you know?

It prosecutes, with no mercy. It spreads fear and sadness. It divides.

My father once told me not to write controversial, unconventional stories or ‘blasphemous’ ones. I read between the lines: people will judge and condemn – their narrow-mindedness will crush me down.

So I tried. To do as he had said.

But I couldn’t.

January 4, 2013

My 2013 Goals!

by evilnymphstuff

I am not the type of person who every year makes a list of resolutions. But there are things that I keep in mind, things that I wish for, things that I want to happen during the year.

These are my goals of the year.

goal 2013

December 31, 2012

An Evil Nymph’s 2012 Overview! (Happy New Year 2013!)

by evilnymphstuff

Hi everyone! On this New Year’s Eve, I’ll be doing everything that needs to be done for this last day of 2012, mainly, the WordPress Weekly Photo Challenge: My 2012 in Pictures, the WordPress annual report, some ramblings on the 2012-13 transition…

First of all, for this week’s photo challenge, it was suggested that we present 12 photos at least in a gallery to make an overview of 2012, but I’m going to break the rules and thus here’s my contribution:

My 2012 in 1 Picture

writing feather and ink

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