How I Control Anger

Anger, although being one of the seven deadly sins, is a very common feeling, felt and expressed by everyone. Usually, anger is impulsive; it is a release… of shouts and cries until one’s throat is dry and the face’s gone all red and sweaty.

anger fire

But then, sometimes anger makes one do or say things that one may regret afterwards.

As an introvert, when I’m angry, I’m usually very silent. Everything is happening inside. Every tear shed, every cry howled, every wish of annihilation… Of course, at times, when I’m threatened (sort of, when someone annoys me), I can’t help but lash out at the person until my vocal cords hurt.

Anger is a feeling that’s hard to control.

Nevertheless, I’ve been able to find some ways that do help me cope with this and I hope it’ll help you as well, especially those who find it hard to conceal your feelings.

My Tips for Anger Management: How To Be In Control.

1. Practise some sports.

For me, running is one of the easiest sportive way to release anger. Especially when there’s a cold wind blowing against your face… Or sometimes I just walk fast, especially that I don’t like to show that I’m frustrated. I walk fast, in cold weather, without any coat… (although, don’t freeze yourselves; here, in Mauritius, winter isn’t that harsh, that’s why I’m able to do it.)

Then for many, I know that boxing helps a lot. If you are the kind of person to be angry easily and impulsive when this feeling empowers you, keep a punching bag (small or big, doesn’t matter) at home. Gloves or not, that’s your choice. Somehow mild pain also helps. (a healthy kind of pain – like sports pain; but don’t cut yourself or whatever!!)

punching bag release anger



2. Listen to music

Sometimes all I need is a playlist of rock (any kind)  music and high volume plugged in my ears. For others, I know that their anger can diminish by listening to calm music. It all depends on you.

Here’s one of the many songs I listen to when I’m angry:

3. Express your feelings through art.

Either I write a horrible story (very horror type or sad or just… argg), or simply in my diary, like I lash out all my frustration by telling it in writing, or I paint/draw. I especially paint, because it’s a creative activity which demands my whole attention and concentration… sometimes so much that I don’t think about anything else… I’m just like in another world, like… I’m possessed by a demon. Because when I start, and driven by my emotions, I can’t stop.

queen of liberty painting watercolour

One of my little watercolour paintings – well only part of it – which you can check out on my instagram @anevilnymph 🙂

It’s like I’m consumed by art. And my anger is gone, while love and creativity increase.

4. Cry. 

Yes, let your tears fall down. I know they want to, especially when you’re angry, right? I don’t personally do that, because unfortunately I’m too proud to shed tears, I just get angrier, but I know for others it does feel good. Instead of shouting and all, just let the feelings go through your eyes. It feels better afterwards. Just let it all go.

crying tears

5. Think WAY Too Much.

That’s my favourite and personal tip. What I do is, when I’m angry, instead of shouting and doing all the things you tend to do in such situations without thinking, I imagine it all in my head. I’m angry, but I remained silent, and I see myself crying, shouting, shrieking, tearing every book and paper and even fabrics like bedsheets, banging on all furniture, burning everything…

Sometimes, I think that I am in a tall room, with blank canvas all over the walls and I have buckets of paint and various painting brushes in my hands. Then, in my rage I just split everything on all canvas, throwing all colours, while painting like crazy, taking a kinfe and tearing it all…

Whew. With all of these scenarios in my head, I start to feel tired… and my anger fades as the images fade.

All the while, no harm done!

6. Go to sleep!

You’ve had a hard day at work or school. You’re tired and frustrated and… tired and frustrated. Thus, I think that at times, all we need is to take a break from all this pressure. Sleep is a great medicine. Who knows, maybe tomorrow the sun will shine?

dawn hope

That’s it! Hope it helps!

How do YOU deal with anger?

An Evil Nymph.

36 thoughts on “How I Control Anger

  1. yeah, sports work. when I was in the middle of my difficult divorce, lost 140 pounds in two months just working out my stress. 🙂

  2. Anger is “self-perpetuating” – the more often you are the less you get out of it and the less seriously you will be taken – choose our wars with care and do not use energy in the wars which you have no influence on – use energy where you have influence – so you also get your will when you get angry… 🙂 😉

  3. I’m guilty of number 5 when angry, however music tends to help. Over the years, I have also developed a one-one thousand count to ten one thousand before exploding, so these days more of a whoosh than a kaboom.

  4. Activity is a great resolve for anger… to be sure…
    However, if it’s there we must allow it to surface, and then deal with it else it ‘get stuck’ inside where it can cause us so much harm… Unresolved anger is the reason for so many hate crimes, and passion crimes, and just feeling yuk..!
    So, my way of dealing with it is to acknowledge it, don’t be ashamed of it, let it express itself (without misappropriating it on anybody) and let it go where all resolved energies go – into the ethers where they can’t harm anyone…!
    A great post, Daph….

  5. Yep, sports are great, particularly weightlifting. I’ll also use my blog to get the anger out too. 🙂 In fact, angry writing is probably one of the best writing to read.

  6. Anger is a difficult one for so many because they don’t even know they are angry… some think themselves depressed, sad, hurt, etc as I did (and I was all of those but I was also angry underneath it all)… learning to identify our feelings is so important. I love how you help everyone to stay in control. Something I strive to do but don’t always succeed, I’m sure… anger is a tough one for me, especially where unfairness and injustice reign… I tend to want to “write the wrongs” but don’t always succeed so much as venting. Your brain is just so darn talented,love seeing it in motion like this! Such wise words and suggestions 😀

    1. It’s taken me some time and effort to finally be able to identify my feelings. I think I’m able to do it because I need to know how a character should feel in a particular situation in my stories.
      It’s hard of course, and even though I’ve found ways to control my anger, it’s very difficult to completely overcome this strong feeling.
      Thank you!

  7. Not all anger is bad, at least if it motivates us to do the right thing or take action. Still, for me it’s usually NOT the right kind of anger I feel. I need to go hiking by myself usually to clear my head and gain perspective if I’m really angry

    1. That’s true!
      Being with nature… our true mother, yes it helps find ourselves in a way; a great tip! Thanks for sharing your personal advice about this.

  8. I learned that people are angry because they don’t get what they want, when they want it. I can’t get my own way, and others don’t want me to get my way…so, it’s quite a problem, isn’t it?
    So what do i do? I analyze what it is exactly they took from me (if someone lied to me, they took away my trust,etc.).That being said, I ask myself what they can do to give me back what they have taken,,,,because someone “owes” me.
    Then I suddenly realized, what they took away, they cannot bring back anymore.
    So like a debt that can’t be paid, I just cancel it and forgive.

  9. Distraction is the best for dealilng with anger.. Music, a good movie, writing.. anything that stops my brain from thinking about what’s just happened… Thanks for sharing your ways 🙂

  10. For me, I will cry in the bathroom and take a cold shower then I calm down 🙂
    Thank you on behalf of Daylight Tune Ministry for liking acrostic poetry ‘Net’, for your future visits and likes 🙂

      1. Welcome and thank you also for visiting my ministry blog 🙂

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