From a flower’s point of view, I’m staring at my elder, the tree, watching over me.
Just like you may see that I’m so engrossed in visual arts that my top dream is to become a famous contemporary artist… when in fact, my true dream is to become a successful published writer.
Yes I will become a visual artist, an art teacher… and sometimes I even think about becoming an art director one day. I love art in all its forms. I will study fine arts in higher level.
But my heart belongs to writing. Like, forever.
I just discovered that recently, because I realised that every time I’m lost in life, or I feel empty… I always feel drawn back to writing. Like, I feel this urge to write, because it will comfort me and fill me back with love.
In fact, my art project is done and the art exhibition is coming soon – so excited for that! – but at the same time, while art is fading away for the time being, the coming of exams is looming over my head, and that’s how I get depressed. It’s like nothing else remain but the dread of exams.
So yeah, I started my revision.
But then, I always thought a lot about… life in general these past few days: I know that after my A-level exams, I would have to think about a lot of things, make a lot of decisions, like which university to apply, what course to take. Basically what I want to do with my life. I really want to go to Europe – England or France – to study fine arts, but then, people mainly ask me: what career are you going for? What job do you want to do? And I’m always like, I don’t know, I’ll see about that when the time comes.
However, I know the answer. Well, I just realised I did know: it’s to write.
All my life I only and only wanted to become a published writer and that’s all! Yes I like to paint and draw, I like to edit videos and film vlogs… but if I had to choose only one career, that would be writing!
People around me only worry about money and reputation and fame… and I know I’m kind of being idealistic there, because of course I will be obliged to work – hopefully in the art industry then – while taking writing only as a part-time maybe-job, but… that’s what frustrates me really.
Why is life so complicated?
Why can’t I just go study for fun? Write as a career? Live simply? Hell even go after my dream girl?
Why? Why not?
And being one of the most intelligent girls in my country makes that kind of lifestyle even unacceptable for me.
It’s been a while since I blogged like that, and it really helps to relieve me somewhat. 🙂
By the way, a little update on my writing life:
I’ve been secretly writing a novella for a while now… and I might blog about it in the future. And this is one of the most exciting things in my life for the time being as I seriously plan to publish it later if the writing goes well. It will be a convenient debut as it’s not long and too complicated, compared to all my previous novel ideas, which I always end up leaving behind because it just gets so complex! Although that doesn’t mean that I let them down. I’m coming back to them for sure. Just that, I feel a novella better motivates me more to finish the story, thus getting me even more into the professional, publishing, writing world.
So this is basically my entry for this week’s photo challenge: an unsual POV 🙂
An Evil Nymph.
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