This is a common question that is often asked, although very hard to answer. It’s like asking: why do you like chocolate? or why do you like that particular colour?
But I finally got an answer!! Sometimes, it’s really helpful to think WAY too much… ;)
So… why do I want to be a writer? Why did my 9-year-old self have this dream and passion and why, even after a decade, do I still have it?
Because I am selfless.
(Okay no, this is not what you think, it’s not a joke either, and yes, it is Divergent which actually helped me find the concrete answer to the ‘why’ and thanks to Veronica Roth who indirectly compelled me to look back at myself internally and reflect on my true initial values and human nature and stuff… Anyway, keep reading!)
What I mean by that is since my childhood I have been thought this philosophy from my mother:
To give is to receive.
As a toddler, who couldn’t do anything, as any child actually, I was given everything my parents and relatives could afford to give, and at that time, it was books which were my absolute favourite material gifts I could ever receive (they still are hehe) and every day my mother would read at least two stories to me after she came back for work.
I was always so thirsty for storytelling, even if it ended up being the same stories over and over again, and I think that’s because the books created a new world for me, they expanded the colours in my life and and made me feel so awesome. (All of this still applies today, of course. Bookworms, you know the feeling…)
To give much is to receive even more, my mother would keep on saying, and that’s why it’s good to share and bad to be selfish.
I was on the receiver’s end all the time. I gained so much from books and stories, although it was not physically gain. Books were simply… my happiness.
So one day I woke up and realised that…
I was being unfair. I was being selfish. I was receiving all those amazing experiences and feelings from those books… and I wanted to give out the same things to the rest of the world. I wanted people to know what it feels like to read and live a story. And that wish hasn’t changed today.
So why do I want to be a writer?
Because I want to give away the pleasure of reading a book. To give away what I receive from every book I read and love.
In conclusion, I kind of unconsciously follow the principles and values that were taught to me in my childhood… which makes me think of Freud, haha (sorry, I’m psychology-intruding here). But it also made me realise why I change hobbies so often… like everything that makes me feel amazing, everything from which I receive strong happiness is something I want to reproduce to give back the happiness in return. So it applies to blogging, vlogging, makeup, photography….
Do you think I should stop analysing myself? LOL.
**For those who know about Divergent: I was persuaded that my faction would obviously be Erudite because… I’m just a workaholic nerd to loves to learn, but on discovering that I am also selfless (thus Abnegation!)… I realise that there are indeed important human values that we tend to overlook and thus forget but they are always present deep inside and we only have to look back into ourselves to find them again and live accordingly with those values. At least that’s one of the messages I felt in the book series.**
Anyway have a great weekend!
An Evil Nymph.