LOL I’m sorry but I could not NOT post this with a post title like that!
Okay, the remaining content of this post is actually serious and if you cannot stand crazy feminists, I strongly recommend you NOT to read any further. Don’t complain. I warned you.
Today, I want to address a particular concern of mine that I’ve been thinking about for a while now. That of gentlemanliness (I had no idea that this word existed until now!) in our present time.
The typical complain is that men are no longer gentlemen. They have lost this value, this ‘respect’ towards women. But those few who are, are definitely ‘admired’. In university I have seen girls praising this or that guy about him being a ‘real gentleman’, he who is well-behaved in front of girls, who gives his seat to girls, who does not curse in front of her and opens the door for her…
Guys scold one another as well in those terms. For example, one day a group of guys and I were having a conversation and I was the only one standing and thus eventually one of them told the guy nearest to me (jokingly but with strong intentions) that he should be ashamed of himself for not offering his seat to me.
Do you know what I think about all this mannerism?
Ridiculous.
In more slang terms, facepalm.
Guy: …f*cking…
Guy2: Don’t curse in front of a girl!
Guy: Sorry, Daphnee.
Me: *facepalm*
*
Guy: Ladies first.
Me: *facepalm*
*
Guy: Give her a chair. How can you let a girl stand while you’re sitting?
Me: *facepalm*
And most importantly, sexist.
Yes, in my humble opinion, being a gentleman is being f*cking sexist.
But I’m not blaming men. I’m trying not to blame anyone… but I’m really mainly disappointed with women. Girls of our generation. Seriously girls, simply saying ‘this guy has no manners’ enforces gender disparity. This is bringing oppression of women upon yourselves. How? Well, if you think about it, encouraging guys to be gentlemen only encourages them to treat you as inferior, in the way that oh, we women are so fragile and sensitive that we need to be treated so kindly and with great care…
If you are shocked about guys cursing in front of you (and oh yes on this side of the world, girls do!) or if you’re waiting a lifetime for a guy to finally give you a seat, later don’t complain about how your boss will not promote you because he regards you as being the ‘feeble sex’.
Be strong, girls. If you want men and women to be treated equally, expect it to come from both the good and bad sides. And guys can be given a seat by girls as well. If you insist on keeping gentlemanliness in society, then start introducing gentlewomanliness.
Of course, Psy’s video is greatly exaggerated and goes towards ‘jerk-iness’ (which is highly NOT encouraged, please) but he has a point in making a parody of gentlemanliness.
Go, go gender equality!
An Evil Nymph.
An Evil Nymph's Blog 
Quite agree with your view ! Actually I’m of the view that we shouldn’t think or treat women as the weaker sex, but lots of women like to exploit this as a kind of tool or weapon to extract some advantages or benefits from men ! To me, women is like water. Water looks weak, but water can both float and sink a boat !
Yeah I’ve seen that too and it’s unfair. Nice metaphor!
It’s definitely a choice every feminist must make. If you are going to demand ‘gender equality’ you must give up the idea that men ‘owe’ women anything just because they are men and women are women.
The idea that men ‘owe’ women special treatment just for being women is called patriarchy/ chivalry.
In a world of true gender equality……
If a woman is being mugged, harassed or is drowning in a lake men do not have any obligation to put their safety at risk to help, because women are not obligated to put their safety at risk to help men in similar situations.
If a building is burning down or a ship is sinking men are not obliged to help women get out, or let women get onto the lifeboats before them. It’s everybody for themselves.
If a girl hits a boy in the playground the boy has every right to hit back. And if a woman assaults a man in public or in the home the man has every right to hit back.
If a woman hits a man or slaps him on the face or even pinches his bum at work she must be dealt with as severely as if a man hits or slaps a woman or pinches her bum at work. In other words she should be arrested for assault and fired from her job for sexual harassment.
Men and women should have equal financial obligations to each other in marriage and after divorce. No more alimony.
Women should be arrested, charged, convicted at the same rate as men for the same crimes and given the same sentences as men for the same crimes.
Women should feel just as obligated as men to do all the dirty, unpleasant, harmful and dangerous (or just boring) jobs in society like emptying the garbage or maintaining infrastructure or driving trucks. Currently men are killed at work 20 times more often than women because women choose safer, more comfortable jobs. Women should be ‘fast tracked’ into these ‘male dominated’ jobs until the workplace death rate is split 50/50 between men and women.
Men should have the same legal right to absolve themselves of parental responsibility for unwanted pregnancies as women currently have. Just as women can have an abortion (even against the man’s wishes), men should also be allowed to legally ‘abort’ their paternal obligations too (even against the woman’s wishes). This would leave the women free to choose to raise the child on her own or have an abortion.
Being pro gender equality means abandoning slogans like “He for She’ which is clearly an example of sexism (chivalry).
Thank you for your thought-provoking deep comment. And I completely agree.
I don’t know if it’s a good thing, but men are wired that way. And whether I like it or not, it would always feel nice if a guy would offer his seat to me. And I wouldn;’t take it if I was comfortable standing up.
Yeah unfortunately we don’t live in a gender utopia yet. Of course it is a nice gesture, as long as there is no sense of superiority-inferiority implied. Yes that’s the way to go: no need to take it if you don’t need it.
i agree, i’ve always felt pretty uncomfortable when guys volunteer to help me take stuff or offer me a seat; it makes me feel incompetent and in need of “special care” which frankly i don’t. people harp on chivalry all the time, mourning over the “death of chivalry” but we should also remember that the idea of chivalry originated in medieval times, times when women were quite clearly objectified and restricted from doing a lot of things men were allowed to do just because they were women. ancient times was not a great time period for women, yet we treat “chivalry” as a godly concept.
when we say “gender equality” it means all genders enjoy the same rights, resources, opportunities and protections, but this doesn’t require (paraphrasing) “girls and boys, or women and men, be the same, or that they be treated exactly alike……men and women should not be discriminated against based on gender, unless there is a sound biological reason for different treatment.” there are sometimes disparities between how women are treated and how men are treated because of this (hence the ridiculousness and frankly disgust of the statement “does that mean i can hit women now” when equality is explained to men). men are expected to help women to carry heavy things because it’s true, women are biologically built to be, well, less built than men, but if a woman is okay and doesn’t need help to carry stuff then there’s no need to accuse men for being “non-gentlemanly” or even sexist. (unless of course you see someone carrying like, 20 boxes then naturally, you’d automatically help them on the basis that it’s almost inhumanely difficult to do so instead of seeing what gender they are first.)
and yet, with all the fuss of being a “gentleman” to women, sexism and violence against women still exists very much to this day. that’s because a lot of the time the illusion of “wanting to be a gentleman” is mostly aimed at “preserving the good image of men amongst other men”. when men try to be gentlemen, do they actually do it because of genuine concern for women or because they’re afraid of being teased by other men? honestly, judging by most cases in which women are frequently objectified and abused by their own male partners, the situation seems to heavily incline towards the latter. it’s like how in countries where traditional views still strongly prevail, women are only left alone when there are men accompanying them. in this case, men “treat women with respect” purely because they recognise and validate the presence of another man, rather than women as respectable entities themselves.
it’d be nice if men treated women as human beings instead of objects or people that need extra care purely because of their gender. and that’s why we need feminism.
@curiosetta: “he for she” is very problematic because it aims to put men in the center of attention to make it “more attractive” for other men to support feminism. it harps on the kind of feminism men find easy to accept, the kind that is in line with men’s idea of feminism, when they do not have the right to speak up about women’s struggles at all (mostly because they’ve never been a woman before lol) instead it speaks over what women are saying about problems faced by women themselves. feminism is not meant to be attractive or comfortable. yes, we do need men to understand what feminism is about, and yes men can support feminism, but being the “faces of feminism” (which he for she implies to be) is not the answer. men can slap on a t shirt saying they’re a feminist and they get applauded for being “noble” and understanding sexism faced by women in society. congratulations, you’ve finally learned that women are equal human beings too! after two thousand and fourteen years (and more) of humanity! he for she is a success! sexism is solved!
sorry this got so long! feminism is always “fun” to discuss about (and i use the word “fun” very, very lightly)
also, great post! the idea of “gentlemanliness” harms men as it does women too so that’s not very nice at all
Indeed, you’ve got very good points here. It’s okay I enjoy long comments; it’s interesting to read about one’s opinions in depth. Haha yeah it IS ‘fun’ 🙂 Thank you!