It is not because it is a social media ‘trend’. It is not because of the work overload. It is not because of the exhaustion that comes along with working. It is not because of the discouraging pile of paperwork to complete.
We procrastinate because we are tired of life pulling us to every part. Tired of the increasing speed and rush of our daily lives. We yearn to rest our body and soul, for at least one minute, but no. Since the advancement of the internet and a 24h trend to be available, we have not stopped for a second. We have not stopped to sleep or to breathe properly.
We procrastinate because we are scared. Afraid. Terrified.
Procrastination is the fear of failure. The fear of not doing good enough.
The moment we start on an assignment, we know that every word written will be judged and every word will affect the final mark that will affect the success rate in school/at work that will affect how great of a career you will have. It is an expression of despair, to know that your whole life depends on words written on paper. Your reputation, your competence, you.
Procrastination is also the fear of passing time. Time is flying. Too fast for our taste.
It is that unspoken desire to shout ‘STOP’. We want time to be suspended. We want to live every second of our lives. But time is merciless. We have to rush from assignment to assignment, work to more work.
It is a pleading cry.
We procrastinate because we don’t want life to end. We don’t want to move on to new assignments because that will lead us closer to the end. End of school life, end of a degree, end of a career. How small are we, in relation to the universe? How small is our petty work for an ideological institution?
However, in the end, when we do overcome procrastination, it is a complete relief. An accomplishment. Because somehow, the brain forgets all the ugly strings attached and celebrates that step forward.
Yet, those deepest fears will never entirely fade away. They will come back with the next pile of work. Like ghosts damned to stay in our world.
An Evil Nymph.