The Past, Who We Are and Other Thoughts

It feels like it’s been ages since I last posted on this blog.

This was mainly because I’ve been doing a lot of thinking (which eventually also includes writing, reading and watching anime/TV series ^^).

Three months’ school holiday is way too long, although it’s been filled with seeing new horizons, since I’m in a foreign country, but at some point it pretty much fucks your mind, especially if you’re living on your own. You start getting all deeply philosophical and start questioning every aspect of life.

Or is it just me?

I’d like to share a few of those haunting thoughts that have been following me for a while… and hopefully read your comments afterwards:

1. On Mirrors

I don’t know if I’ve talked about this here but I moved to a cheaper residence at the start of the year and among the furniture available in my room there was no sign of a mirror! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not your vain narcissist typical girl, but I enjoy making up outfits in front of a tall mirror and… well I simply have this ‘strong liking’ for mirrors. Therefore the mirror chase was on! My friend also joined me because she happened to want a mirror as well (peer influence XD). We were of course looking for the cheap options so we looked a little everywhere and took our time before we finally settled on those specific budget-friendly-but-nice-quality mirrors…

Anyway, this whole ‘chase’, that lasted about a month, made me think of something very peculiar about mirrors. It all started when my friend taught me how to know the difference in quality in the glass of the mirror (quite simple actually: just look into both mirrors one after the one and check for any ‘deformities’ in terms of how your body is being reflected… If your head is way bigger than your body you obviously know it’s not a good mirror…). She thus wouldn’t choose a mirror because it didn’t reflect her ‘normally’ i.e. the way she thinks her body is.

This was when the discussion started and my thoughts started to grow.

But how does she know how she is? If one thinks about it, no one can see oneself, except through reflecting glass, like a mirror, but if my friend just proved me that the mirrors can be flawed, then in truth, one can definitely never see oneself.

reflection

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Why I Love Anime

I’ve never been a big fan of anime series and I can count on my fingers how many of them I’ve watched in my whole life so far. (Haha, being an Asian has led me not to be interested in Asian stuff.)

However, I have to say, I really really admire anime.

On the rare occasions that I do watch one, I go completely crazy over it.

yoshino And the reason this happens is that anime producers/writers/whatever are simply the greatest storytellers that ever existed.

Indeed, this is a writing-related post (hihi what could you expect from me) and the answer to the ‘why I love Anime’ is simply because of its storytelling.

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Creative Writing & Me: Continued

(Before I officially start writing this post, I would like to disclaim that this is not a ‘part 2’ to some previous post, although the title may give this impression.)

It’s been a while since I’ve finally settled back (physically and mentally) home (Malaysia, that is) from an awesome trip to Singapore and I still have a little less than 3 months to go before school starts again. And what does An Evil Nymph usually do during long holidays?

Yes, I’m back to writing my crazy novel(s)!

Okay, as a writing recap-update:

Exactly one year ago, I rewrote what was supposed to be the last draft of a novel I have been passionately struggling with since Camp NaNoWriMo 2012. The writing flowed easily. I was content. By February-March 2014, the draft was done. I left it idle for a while because I was doing another smaller writing project (a novella) which I had intended to finish before I’d go to Malaysia for my studies. I did finish it and by that time, I was ready to hop on the plane towards my university life!

Anyway, my plan at that time was: focus on your studies and uni life first, then during the 3 months holiday, go back to the final draft and revise it. Then edit it and maybe send it to publishers? Well, now, fast forward to the present time, I did start revising it… And finally it is not as good as I expected it was. Sincerely, I think that going to Malaysia, starting a new independent life in a foreign country kind of made me grow up… including my perceptions and creativity. And when I read what I had thought to be the final draft of my dearest idea ever, I realised that I actually knew nothing (Jon Snow xD). And I would have known nothing of the world, of real life, if I had stayed at home.

I just feel that one year had made all the difference.

Therefore, I stopped revising; I was quite disappointed and discouraged, because I would have to rewrite the 103,000+ novel (again) if I intend to go along with it, and at the same time, in that particular time period, I was dealing with conflicting emotions and thoughts on career choice (read my ‘A Beautiful Mind’ post?).

But now I’m back on track! What I decided in the end was to move on: after all, my final draft was only one novel in a duology I had planned, so instead of going back to it now, I’m going to focus on the second novel of the duology. Then maybe after this one is done, I might find the right way to deal with the first one. One has to know the end to begin😉

However, in the end… I’m currently writing that ‘second novel’, but as a stand-alone thing. With a completely different structure from the first one… And I’ll see how it goes. As long as I’m writing, I feel sane… I mean, emotionally balanced.

keep calm and write on

(Oh yeah, that’s one of my newly bought notebooks in Malaysia!)

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Happy New Year 2014! New Year’s Resolutions and More…

Last year I mentioned that I wasn’t really into New Year’s resolutions, but I still gave myself three little goals to achieve, and today, I’m going to review it and see what happened.

The first one was to focus on writing. Then I elaborated: And I sincerely hope that in the end of 2013, I am left with at least one polished and completed novel, ready to be published.

That didn’t come true. Well except that instead of ending up with a novel, I ended up with a short script, which I am now writing into a novella.

That isn’t disappointing or surprising though, because I know that this year was a year full of school work, being my last year in secondary school.

And that’s how my second resolution had been to work hard at school, focus on my studies.

Which I hopefully did? I don’t know I am still waiting for the results!

Then the third and final goal I had set myself was to find where I stand. I quote: I want to finally find my whole identity. I want to know – no, to be sure of – where I’m going. Who am I? What’s my mission? 

Did I succeed this one? I don’t know. Maybe. Or maybe I still have yet to learn about myself. In any case, during the year there were a lot of confusion and ups and downs about my identity and plans for the future. Fortunately, today, I know exactly where I am going and I know myself better than a year ago.

I know what I have to do😉

camera into mirror

(just throwing in a random recent photo so as to keep this post more interesting hehe)

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Art Is Changing My Life

Some of you might remember that when I started this blog, I said that I had a new hobby every year.

Only writing remains constant throughout my life’s journey, since it’s more than a hobby, it’s a passion, well, it hasn’t always been constant but it always came back – I always came back to it.

French fanfiction in 2008, vidding in 2010, makeup and blogging in 2011, novelist-huge-breakthrough-plans in 2012… For some I… well I didn’t give up but I kind of was out of time to do all so I had to eliminate, while for others, like blogging especially, remained and will remain in my life I believe.

nude art woman's back

And in 2013…

Art.

Of course, everything I stated above is art, but what I mean is that this year I’m embracing the very basic stereotype form of art, which is the visual one, painting and drawing. The one art I drowned in when I could not even read and write, which made me use up all the paint pots and try out all the cheap painting brushes we had in our family’s shop, and which made me wonder about beautiful sunsets painted on canvas…

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