Big Girls Don’t Cry…

Crying is showing that you are weak.

These words rang continuously in my head as I watched her go. I remember that I had come to this cold conclusion when I was just a little child who had sought for affection at the wrong time. Because crying didn’t lead me anywhere. No one paid attention anyway.
But as I stare at her back… walking away from me…

I felt like we were both tied to a string and the more she went away, the more the string pulled at my heart and tore my skin. It hurt.
And it hurt my eyes too.

For so many years, nothing has made me cried as much. Tears rolled down my cheeks like a waterfall. I made no sound but I shook all over. I knew that I was going to see her again. Yet I couldn’t stop crying.

And my own words of the past hung in the air:
“It’s time to be a big girl now. And big girls don’t cry.”

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