Chronicles Of My Teenage Depression | Collected Stories

Hi guys! It’s been a while! I’m currently reviving my Medium blog to act as a complement to my new official blog. While going through my writing pieces on Medium, I found that I used to write a kind of ‘Depression’ series. These blog posts are now irrelevant to my content on that platform, but I didn’t want to just delete them, so I’ve decided to keep them here. Enjoy the collected writing pieces on my teenage depression! 

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1.

The Only Time I Was Depressed

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She had been depressed before, but she had never been Depressed. She had had her sad days, because life was made to have ups and downs, but she had never felt to be at a point outside of the graph, without a clue where to go next.

At that specific point, there was no beginning, no continuation, no end. She just was. And it felt like she would always be.

In her sleep, she was lost in a film of nightmares. When she was awake, she hid behind a curtain of tears. No, she did not always cry, but she always wanted to, and so her eyes.

Continue reading “Chronicles Of My Teenage Depression | Collected Stories”

2 Key Habits of Mental Health Counselors that We All Need to Put into Practice

On the 10th September, we are reminded that a person dies of suicide every 40 seconds, commemorating World Suicide Prevention Day.

On the 10th October, we will be reminded that mental health issues are a part of reality and we need to be aware of them, not take them lightly. It will be World Mental Health Day.

On the 3rd September, my friends and I, as our school’s Mental Health Ambassadors, attended a Suicide Prevention workshop, organized by Befrienders, a Malaysian NGO and helpline that offers emotional support and promotes psychological well-being.

As a psychology undergrad student, the topics surrounding suicide, depression, anxiety and the likes were nothing new to me. As one trained in mental health first aid, immediate interventions regarding psychological distress were also not novelties. As a current mental health counselling student (taking it as an elective this very semester), the workshop was more of a refreshing aspect than anything else. Yet.

Yet, this workshop still made a significant difference in my perspectives regarding mental health awareness.

Continue reading “2 Key Habits of Mental Health Counselors that We All Need to Put into Practice”

5th Blog Anniversary | Reflecting On Where I Stand, My Future Career, My Vision

Actually An Evil Nymph’s Blog blog anniversary was on the 1st August and it wasn’t until WordPress congratulated me on that milestone that I realised it. I knew 1st August was something special! Dang it!

Anyways, at that time, I had just published a post a few hours earlier and so I decided to wait a little more before putting up a proper ‘Happy Blog Anniversary’ post. However, yes, since I’m back to school and new into my third year, my responsibilities got in the way. In fact, I would have completely forgotten about blogging it if it was not for my Google Calendar, in which I have set a goal to blog once a week.

That’s how crazy life gets when the semester starts and you are involved in many things, including being a (High, sometimes) Distinction student. I literally need my phone to remind me of everything, haha!

Anyway, it’s been five years, guys. Five years since I started blogging. I can’t describe how much it has opened my eyes to the world… and my own. My blogging style has changed a lot throughout the years, but I believe that the main reason I got so immersed in blogging was not only my passion for writing, but my search for who I am, an identity, to find myself. 

Continue reading “5th Blog Anniversary | Reflecting On Where I Stand, My Future Career, My Vision”

On The Will To Get Out Of Bed

You’d be walking by the road and chatting with your friends, when suddenly an unstoppable force would pull you out in a blurred mixture of melting colours, as you hear a weirdly familiar melody becoming louder and louder…

And the next thing you know, you are in bed, with your morning alarm ringing next to your ears. You feel the brightness of your phone’s screen glaring back at you as you struggle to move your arms and fingers to swipe and shut that noise down. The realisation of the beginning of day dawns on you as you think of the first few things you have to do this morning.

Another fifteen minutes, you say. You’ve set up more than one alarm. It’ll be easier to wake you up the second time.

Continue reading “On The Will To Get Out Of Bed”

Feeling Fat

When I was a young carefree teenager, my dad would often tell me: “You should lose weight.” I was criticized for my fat belly and was told that if I didn’t do anything about it, I would never find a husband.

Thank god, I didn’t give a damn about ‘looking good’ or ‘finding a man’. I had read and learnt countless of times how girls tend to fall under the illusion that they are not beautiful enough and that they never will, unless they resemble those super thin top models in magazines. I’ve seen how detrimental of their self-esteem it was to constantly compare their bodies to those Photoshop’ed ones… or to their prettier (a.k.a. more socially acceptable body types) peers. I’ve heard about very strict diet that could potentially lead to death.

I learnt from an early age to love my body and to eat all the things I love (in moderation, of course) and to not be defined by someone else’s perception of ‘beauty’. I encouraged myself to be an independent woman, and to be aware that if I wanted a man, that man would not have the right to shape my body to fit his ‘ideals’ (impossible ones indeed), but would instead accept me as I am.

Continue reading “Feeling Fat”

Motivation Monday | Together We Fitness

*I have no idea whether ‘Motivation Monday’ will become a weekly/fortnight thing or a one time thing, but I couldn’t resist making that alliteration.*

Malaysia has been very hard on my health in the past weeks (weather, school, activities, living on my own… who knows why) and thus one of the things I started to do was to be more conscious of my fitness levels and on how to stay fit. In almost 21 years, I have never been focused on fitness, or the importance of sports/working out for instance, until now.

A lot of my friends, local and abroad, go to the gym regularly and although I am lucky to have access to a free gym at school (or if it’s not good enough, I can even go to the paid one next to my apartment) I’ve never been interested in doing so. I am still not interested, but this is mainly because I am always shy when it comes to starting something new and foreign to me, and also because I do tend to be intimidated by the various machinery that I wouldn’t know how to handle. However, lately, my room has become my little gym place. I even bought a yoga/fitness mat!

Continue reading “Motivation Monday | Together We Fitness”

I’m Drawing Gary C!

School has started again this Monday and my art exposition is coming soon! Not mentioning the fact that I got to sit for my A-levels exams in October/November, so I get huge revision work to do!

That’s why I’m less and less online.

Yeah, this year is the most most busy year of all! And kind of stressful too at times.

Just so you know I’m still alive, but I can’t predict when I’m going to blog, so just be prepared to be surprised from time to time… at unexpected times!

Anyway, here’s my latest drawing:

This drawing’s going to be featured in the intro of one of Gary C’s videos, since he’s a YouTuber 🙂 I can’t wait to see that! So excited!

Anyway, hope you’re having a nice week!

Until next time,

An Evil Nymph.

10 Ways To Get Over… Just Anything At All!

Are you having a bad day?

Did you just break up?

Did you just realise that your crush and you are never going to be?

Did you spend hours on the same piece of art or writing, painting or drawing or typing or scribbling over and over again without getting the result you wanted?

Are you frustrated with life right now?

I know exactly how you feel, and that’s why I’ve been trying to find ways to cheer me up and one of the ways was to make this video for you! 🙂 Here:

Hope you liked my 10 ways to get over anything at all, and had a good laugh, because the real point of all these crazy things I dared to do in front of a camera is to make you have a good time for a few minutes, so that you’ll stop thinking or overthinking about your problems.

But eventually you have to go back to them. Well doesn’t matter, you’ve been entertained, and hopefully now you are more relaxed and alert to start working again and deliver good work or mainly start living again and deliver positive vibes all around you! 🙂 Believe me, people need these vibes as much as you.

Any more tips you’d like to share on how to get over it? It like anything at all? Comment below!

An Evil Nymph.

Life, I’m Scared.

My first ‘serious’ vlog:

I hope it doesn’t make you cry, although if you did cry it means I did a great job 🙂

Anyway, this is basically some reflections on my life situation, where I’ve recently realised that I wanted to pursue art as a career while writing will remain my favourite hobby. And it’s also about my struggle to be accepted as an art student, since many do not agree with my decision, many don’t believe in me, many think that I’ll just end up in the streets instead of having a stable job.

But I don’t believe that. I believe in me. I know I can do this.

I know it’s so sudden and since I didn’t do Art & Design at school I have to do it privately and sit for its A-level next year, thus I’ll still be studying next year instead of going to university.

It’s a risk, I know, but I’m ready to take it. It’s all about follow my dreams and listening to my heart because only my heart knows what makes me happy.

And art does.

That’s the advice I want to give you: it’s okay to be scared, but you should go forward along your heart’s desires anyway.

An Evil Nymph.

What To Do When You Are Sick?

Nothing! Absolutely nothing.

On those rare occasions, in my case, I just am unable to do anything. It’s normal of course: the body’s weak like hell, and your mind is getting crazy… like when I’m sick, I just feel like I’m drunk o.o which means that my emotions tend to be stronger, so anything can make me laugh or cry. Anything. It’s that easy.

hate being sick makes me cry

The thing is I like to keep being busy, guess I’m a workaholic, so I was really annoyed that I couldn’t do anything. In fact I was able to finish an essay but then, I told myself that I really shouldn’t force myself, even when exams are at the door… So I just ended up moaning with pain… well not exactly pain, it’s more like an uneasy feeling, like your body just feels wrong. Then I sleep, or sometimes I try to but I’m too much ‘in pain’, and in those cases, I just try to find something else, a passive activity, like watching TV.

Continue reading “What To Do When You Are Sick?”

Are These Sparky & Trendy Shamballa Bracelets For The Rich Folks Only? [Guest Post]

Shamballa bracelets have become the talk of the town. Ever since they were found in the hands of celebrities, people have become curious to learn more about the beautiful Shamballa bracelets. These intricately crafted bracelets are elegant and their colors are stunning.

 

shamballa bracelets

Indian and Tibetan Buddhists believe that a kingdom called Shamballa is in the Himalayan valleys and it is not easily accessible. Only those who aspire to reach glorifying heights in spiritualism are considered eligible to access the mythical kingdom. The kingdom overflows with harmony, love, peace and enlightenment. Inspired by the kingdom, Shamballa bracelets were born. They are exclusive, they are special, and they are trendy and are they only for the rich?

 

Continue reading “Are These Sparky & Trendy Shamballa Bracelets For The Rich Folks Only? [Guest Post]”

5 Natural Remedies to Treat Acne [Guest Post]

Acne is something no one wants to deal with, but almost all of us have to face it at some point. Acne can mar your natural beauty, making you feel self-conscious. It can strip you of your confidence and make it hard for you to get out and enjoy being with friends or going places. It can also be quite painful.

acne

You may scrub and scrub your face with soaps, toners and other products that promise to clear your acne, all with no success. Or you may not want to use such harsh chemicals on your face and are looking for natural remedies instead. Here are 5 natural (and effective) remedies that you can use to treat your acne and start taking back your confidence:

Continue reading “5 Natural Remedies to Treat Acne [Guest Post]”

Masterpiece from Hate. Use your negative emotions for writing. [Guest Post]

Creating By Channeling Your Negative Emotions

 

This article serves the purpose of helping people take their negative emotions and channel them into something useful and positive. Dealing with stress and anxiety can affect one’s mental health, so dealing with it in a healthy manner can reduce the intensity of these emotions over time. Consider using creative methods to deal with these emotions so that you can get on with your life and stop wasting time wallowing in these pessimistic feelings.

 

hateWith all the expectations placed on us each and every day, it’s no wonder that the average level of stress experienced by people is increasing each year. There are different ways of coping with stress, such as exercise or doing yoga. However, have you ever considered channeling all of the stress and negative emotions associated with it towards something productive?

You would never think that you could get results out of using your negative emotions for something. Usually, people are trying to get rid of or ignore their negative emotions so that they can get on with their work. However, if you’re creative, you could produce something interesting out of what’s causing you to worry, such as writing. Some of the best writings come out of the most intense emotions ever experienced, and worry is one of them.

Here are some tips to keep in mind if you’re ever considering venting your troubles in this way.

Continue reading “Masterpiece from Hate. Use your negative emotions for writing. [Guest Post]”