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Feeling Fat

When I was a young carefree teenager, my dad would often tell me: “You should lose weight.” I was criticized for my fat belly and was told that if I didn’t do anything about it, I would never find a husband.

Thank god, I didn’t give a damn about ‘looking good’ or ‘finding a man’. I had read and learnt countless of times how girls tend to fall under the illusion that they are not beautiful enough and that they never will, unless they resemble those super thin top models in magazines. I’ve seen how detrimental of their self-esteem it was to constantly compare their bodies to those Photoshop’ed ones… or to their prettier (a.k.a. more socially acceptable body types) peers. I’ve heard about very strict diet that could potentially lead to death.

I learnt from an early age to love my body and to eat all the things I love (in moderation, of course) and to not be defined by someone else’s perception of ‘beauty’. I encouraged myself to be an independent woman, and to be aware that if I wanted a man, that man would not have the right to shape my body to fit his ‘ideals’ (impossible ones indeed), but would instead accept me as I am.

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21 Lessons Learnt On Turning 21

On Tuesday May 3rd, I turned 21.

Although some might say the opposite, 21 years is a pretty long period of time. 21 years feels like a lifetime, for all the positive and negative experiences I’ve gained and endured. 21 years is 252 months of existence on this Earth. It is around 1,095 weeks. Approximately 7,665 days.

It is freaking 6.623e+8 seconds.

Of course, in comparison to the time of the universe, this lapse of time is very very very insignificant, but it is all relative anyway.

Without further ado, here are 21 lessons that I learnt (most of the time via the hard way) during those 21 years and that will probably stay on with me for a very long time. Moreover, I wanted to make this post a little special, therefore, each lesson is presented to you in a picture-text form, designed and personalized by me.

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How To Surprise A Birthday-Surprise Organizer For Her Birthday?

*I know that my birthday was on May 3rd and that this post is therefore late, but oh well, better late than never! Enjoy!*

I am usually the one that organizes birthday surprises for my friends, but I never had a surprise for my birthday. It did not really matter either. We were in the middle of the semester, filled with assignments, thus I told myself not to expect much. I did however hint at my boyfriend that I would like something special, but I knew I was still better at surprises than him (haha).

Yet, I did not see it coming when my friends actually surprised me for my birthday this year!

I can’t believe I fell into their trap. They successfully surprised a typical Birthday-Surprise organizer. And here’s how they did it (in advice form):

 

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Motivation Monday | Making Time for Personal Hobbies

Did I just make ‘Motivation Monday’ a weekly blog post series? Still thinking about it.

This is just going to be a quick tip for everyone who is as busy as me, whether it’s because of work, school or family, and have happened to just lose control over their time management and over their professional/personal life balance.

Aside from my workout morning routine, I have also set a kind of evening routine for myself. Since the beginning of the semester, at the start of this month, I have found myself to be caught up in my university schedule and studies, and extra-curricular activity. In fact, those who follow me on Goodreads might have noticed a sudden drop of activity.

I had stopped reading.

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A Magnificent Rose Smelling Faintly Of Blood

“Love is the world’s infinite mutability; lies, hatred, murder even, are all knit up in it; it is the inevitable blossoming of its opposites, a magnificent rose smelling faintly of blood.”
– Tony Kushner, THE ILLUSION.

“This is a message to all the young women who have found their one and only.

This is a message to the girls who fell in love for the first time.

This is a message to those who believe in Love, because the reality of Love is far from what it really is.

A long term relationship is what we aspire to, because the myth of ‘soulmates’ have haunted us since we were young and stuffed with mediated representations of Love: two people ‘meant’ for each other. Yet, it is in a long term relationship that we learn, and we learn it the hard way: nothing in Real Love is ever like our Ideal idea of Love.”

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I NEED YOUR OPINION: ‘The Mad Artist’ Project

I hate myself for saying this, but when I feel like chilling in the morning, doing nothing, I open my Facebook and scroll down my news feed. The nice thing about my news feed is that, since a news feed depends on the previous posts you liked and such, I keep seeing either inspiring/writing quotes or beautiful artworks. I’m especially a fan of Word Porn and berlin-artparasites.

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, despite my recent irregularity, you know that I’m also as much of a writer as a reader, and also that I’m as much of a visual artist (especially seen on my instagram) as a viewer and appreciator of art.

So, I was doing my usual online routine when an idea occurred to me. And ‘The Mad Artist’ Project was born.

What is that ‘crazy’ project?

Nothing has been done yet, because I would like some opinions from a little of everywhere before I do begin it; but in theory, ‘The Mad Artist’ is going to be a start-up Facebook platform for starting or established artists (digital, traditional, photographers, you name it) to get to promote their best art on a weekly/monthly basis. If I do get to go along with the project, I will start it as a Facebook page first, then expand to a website and Instagram and more maybe.

Why this project?

You see, I am sometimes an artist too, but often, my student life gets in the way and I just stop. Moreover, every time I feel like making my brand, I tend to falter and shift to another style, thus I’m way too inconsistent in art to have a signature style and build my own ’empire’. However, I’m consistently looking out for artsy things, especially during my Facebook time, since I do have creative friends and I do like a lot of such pages, and I really appreciate art, and sometimes I just wish I could help those consistent and dedicated artists in a way.

Besides, I think that being an independent artist (my targeted audience for the project for the time being) requires not only to make art but also to promote it… and the project is going to take care of that second job, at least, I hope it’s going to give more exposure and encourage mingles among the different artists I know.

It will basically be a platform for uniting my favourite arts and at the same time for more exposure for busy creative artists.

If you are confused, here’s a prototype of how a post on the page would look like: a photo/the art and a caption by me (because I do love to write and I did enjoy doing the Picture it & Write challenges long before on this blog, which has the same concept):

“”She might as well have been a porcelain doll. She was played with, but she could not play with.”

Art by An Evil Nymph.”

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Wrong Major, Right Path

I figured that university was probably not for me. But I kept going, because it was not about classes and grades anymore, but about that sense of belonging among your peers, the community that makes the institution truly alive in the first place.

People have told me several times that I’m good at academia. But I chose not to go with it. I did not enjoy it as much as getting my hands dirty. Academia is too lonely for me. I enjoy teamwork and concrete projects, though I did not know that side of mine before I had actually experienced it.

In the end, I’m left doing a degree I have no real passion for; I have no idea what I am going to do after this, but at the same time, I know exactly what I am going to do after this. Taking a right turn, not looking back. The trip is set.

As the year 2015 is ending, I’ve been giving a lot of thoughts about my future and this is what I am at now. It’s all even more blur and unstable than before. Yet, I have grown to know myself more, my needs, my happiness triggers. All of me never stay the same and that is, I believe, the beauty of what makes us human: we are full of possibilities; we change because nothing is ever fixed and it is those uncertainties that are closer to the truth of who we are.

On that note, merry Christmas and happy new year 2016!

An Evil Nymph.

P.S.: Also partly published in my Dayre: dayre.me/dkwaye