pexels-photo-14303

To The One(s) Who Didn’t Love Me Back

*Disclaimer: This work is partly fiction.*

When I was 5,
I didn’t think about love.
All I knew was that I looked forward
To seeing you every day at school
And playing together during recess.

When I was 13,
I was peer pressured into love.
I was lost in tales of ‘unconditionally’;
Everyone seemed to have their ‘One’ but not I.
You looked into my eyes, into my despair.
I fell for you; you did not.

When I was 14,
I told everyone about you.
Yes, I was crazy about you.
I got teased; I got ignored.
I felt ugly, unloved.
Never, I will never tell again.

Continue reading

heartsickness-lover-s-grief-lovesickness-coupe-50592

What Cannot Be Healed

*Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction.*

What does it mean to be in love, really? What if having feelings for someone and being in love are actually completely different?

Why do people fall in love several times in a lifetime? Then why make up the concept of ‘soulmates’?

When Dahlia looks at her life, it feels wonderful, almost perfect. One year ago, the world was on the brink of destruction. One year ago, she had almost lost her sister. Today, she can walk outside without the fear of being attacked. Today, humans have accepted and welcomed her race to live on Earth.

One year ago, her mentor, ally and one of the two most powerful Masterminds, sacrificed herself for peace.

Continue reading

traveling-alone

21 Lessons Learnt On Turning 21

On Tuesday May 3rd, I turned 21.

Although some might say the opposite, 21 years is a pretty long period of time. 21 years feels like a lifetime, for all the positive and negative experiences I’ve gained and endured. 21 years is 252 months of existence on this Earth. It is around 1,095 weeks. Approximately 7,665 days.

It is freaking 6.623e+8 seconds.

Of course, in comparison to the time of the universe, this lapse of time is very very very insignificant, but it is all relative anyway.

Without further ado, here are 21 lessons that I learnt (most of the time via the hard way) during those 21 years and that will probably stay on with me for a very long time. Moreover, I wanted to make this post a little special, therefore, each lesson is presented to you in a picture-text form, designed and personalized by me.

Continue reading

love-proposal-hd-wallpapers

Why I Asked Him Out – And Not The Other Way Round

It is not generally easy to ask someone you like out. However, despite the fear of breaking a friendship and of rejection, it is most likely the only way to find that special someone. Opportunities are not to be missed. Risks are worth being taken. Trials and errors. Time to move forward.

1. That first paragraph was my mental state at that time. I had barely dived into my 20’s and therefore I was excited to try out bolder things. I wanted to make the most out of my young adult life. Be daring.

2. I was more confident. That was firstly because I was in university for a longer period than him, while it was only his first semester, and secondly because I was practically his ‘boss’ during the only extra-curricular activity that we had in common – the only thing we had in common. I was also the one to personally recruit him in the team.

Continue reading

rose_art-wallpaper-1280x768 (1)

A Magnificent Rose Smelling Faintly Of Blood

“Love is the world’s infinite mutability; lies, hatred, murder even, are all knit up in it; it is the inevitable blossoming of its opposites, a magnificent rose smelling faintly of blood.”
– Tony Kushner, THE ILLUSION.

“This is a message to all the young women who have found their one and only.

This is a message to the girls who fell in love for the first time.

This is a message to those who believe in Love, because the reality of Love is far from what it really is.

A long term relationship is what we aspire to, because the myth of ‘soulmates’ have haunted us since we were young and stuffed with mediated representations of Love: two people ‘meant’ for each other. Yet, it is in a long term relationship that we learn, and we learn it the hard way: nothing in Real Love is ever like our Ideal idea of Love.”

Continue reading

20160213_154459

A Long-Distance Valentine’s Day

My first celebrated Valentine’s Day ever; and yet I was sitting on the couch on my own at home.

My first reciprocated love ever; and he is 3190 miles away.

My first relationship ever; and filled with months of being separated by the ocean yet with other months waking up next to each other and feeling each other’s hearts.

Skype goodnights.

Midnight ‘I Love You’s.

An unstable distance; a stable romance.

We dive in ‘forever’s.

But it’s not always easy. It sometimes feel like the whole world is against us; while lovers meet on Valentine’s Day, we go on our separate lives, united only by the thought.

I don’t know which is worse: to be lonely on that day or to be unable to spend that day with that someone special.

In the end, let’s simply shrug: we, as true and loving to each other, celebrate Valentine’s Day any other day, every day.

An Evil Nymph.

violin-musical-instrument-music-sound

Heartbreak From A Stranger

I was looking for more violin players for our end-of-year orchestral shown when you appeared on our doorstep and offered to help.

Being the passionate leader that I was, I treated all my musicians as equally and uniquely important to my eyes. Taught you the arts, seeing you as an individual, not as a pawn.

In the middle of our rehearsals, one day, you came up to me and asked for your leave, because you had other more compulsory obligations and could not cope with everything. I understood, because I am human and you too, and let you go.

A side musical competition came up soon after, one that I did not find important but which my team mates did, thus we gave it much attention too.

On the day of the competition, as my orchestra was setting up, I saw you… on the other side of the stage, armed with your brand new violin, side to side with the opposing team.

You were so proud that you won and we lost.

I focused my orchestra back into the end-of-year show, and the latter was in fact a success. By that time I had forgotten all about you. People leave and people change.

The day you broke my heart was the day you came back to me.

Your orchestra had now a higher position than ours. You came to me to ask for my help for a future musical project. In other words, you needed slaves to do your work, because as the winning team, you would not dare degrade yourself to our standards.

The real truth was that you knew absolutely nothing about being in an orchestra, but you aimed for fame and royalty and here you are on top.

I have no choice but to fake a genuine innocent smile and abide by your wishes. My orchestra is under yours.

If not, I would have taken my orchestra in my own fall. And my orchestra is what I care for the most in life. I had to swallow my pride and my broken heart for the sake of my orchestra, its reputation and mobility. I had to close my eyes and let it go, for my orchestra to float up.

You had given me a unique opportunity for my orchestra, one I could not refuse.

~

An Evil Nymph.