Feeling Homesick In Your Own Home

*FYI: This post was looong overdue.

I think this is the worst feeling in the world: to go home and realise you feel like a complete stranger.

It’s been two weeks since I returned to Mauritius, my home country, definitively. I had said my goodbyes in Malaysia, knowing that I may not go back there anytime soon. The last weeks spent with my friends were a blast; for once, I spent my money like I was really on vacation (after being on a student budget for so long!).

My first week in Mauritius was not too bad, mainly because I did go back for about a month in October and also because I immediately started working.

The homesickness didn’t come all at once or in full-force. It came gradually, like a wave. It comes into little cracks, cracks you don’t know about. It starts when I catch myself checking Instagram less and less, fearing that I’ll miss my ‘old life’. It is here when Saturday comes and all of my close friends are abroad. On Friday nights.

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Dear WordPress, It’s Our 6th Anniversary Together.

These past 6 years have been a crazy ride. It’s been complicated.

I’ve not always been the blogger you’ve wanted me to be. Especially for the past three years or so. First, I’d always forget about our anniversary. You’d constantly had to remind me about it. But I logged in so rarely that I’d see your reminder way too late.

I’m actually surprised I remembered this year. Well, I did see your reminder. But I was on time. And I shouted it out to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. And I was proud to have been blogging for that long.

I didn’t always feel that way.

Continue reading “Dear WordPress, It’s Our 6th Anniversary Together.”

Have I Given Up On Travelling?

Honestly, this post was so hard to write. My thoughts are all over the place and I apologise.

***

I’ve had this blog post idea for a long time now. It’s been on my list of ‘topics to write on’ for months.

The original title was “I gave up on travelling.” But I decided to change it. Why?

Who I was months ago had a different perspective and mindset when she wrote that title. Who I am now has gone through a lot of post-graduation thoughts about the future… and some kind of epiphany about who, where, how I want to be.

Back then, even though I didn’t seem like it, I was against travelling as a student, unless you could afford it, i.e. your parents are freaking tolerant about you spending their money (mine aren’t).

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The Past, Who We Are and Other Thoughts

It feels like it’s been ages since I last posted on this blog.

This was mainly because I’ve been doing a lot of thinking (which eventually also includes writing, reading and watching anime/TV series ^^).

Three months’ school holiday is way too long, although it’s been filled with seeing new horizons, since I’m in a foreign country, but at some point it pretty much fucks your mind, especially if you’re living on your own. You start getting all deeply philosophical and start questioning every aspect of life.

Or is it just me?

I’d like to share a few of those haunting thoughts that have been following me for a while… and hopefully read your comments afterwards:

1. On Mirrors

I don’t know if I’ve talked about this here but I moved to a cheaper residence at the start of the year and among the furniture available in my room there was no sign of a mirror! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not your vain narcissist typical girl, but I enjoy making up outfits in front of a tall mirror and… well I simply have this ‘strong liking’ for mirrors. Therefore the mirror chase was on! My friend also joined me because she happened to want a mirror as well (peer influence XD). We were of course looking for the cheap options so we looked a little everywhere and took our time before we finally settled on those specific budget-friendly-but-nice-quality mirrors…

Anyway, this whole ‘chase’, that lasted about a month, made me think of something very peculiar about mirrors. It all started when my friend taught me how to know the difference in quality in the glass of the mirror (quite simple actually: just look into both mirrors one after the one and check for any ‘deformities’ in terms of how your body is being reflected… If your head is way bigger than your body you obviously know it’s not a good mirror…). She thus wouldn’t choose a mirror because it didn’t reflect her ‘normally’ i.e. the way she thinks her body is.

This was when the discussion started and my thoughts started to grow.

But how does she know how she is? If one thinks about it, no one can see oneself, except through reflecting glass, like a mirror, but if my friend just proved me that the mirrors can be flawed, then in truth, one can definitely never see oneself.

reflection

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A Bunny Rant About Google+ & YouTube “Just Married”

*I was thinking about vlogging about this because it is mainly on the changes YouTube has been undergoing lately, but I’m still in exams and blogging about it is much easier and less time consuming. With that said…*

bunny-(8)When I first integrated myself in the YouTube community it was for the sole purpose of watching piano tutorials and covers of my favourite songs because at that time I was self-teaching myself how to play the piano. It was in 2009. I was only 13-14 years old then. Afterwards, after one year, I started making video montages with my favourite TV series at that time: Merlin, and as most of you know my vidding channel was born.

I remember how at that time my YouTube channel was so customizable with the transparency option especially, with which I could thankfully put up a favourite wallpaper of mine to serve as my channel’s background image. I remember how a YouTube channel back then was like a… profile page, with friends as well as subscribers and channel groups and more.

But YouTube’s format gradually changed as the years passed… until we came to the current channel format: less customizable, more professional, which led to a kind of a division between the content creators and the viewers… when in truth we are all equal, and creators are viewers as well as vice versa.

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Losing Sight Of Your Priorities? Find Them Back!

I had a long weekend. Friday was a public holiday, here in Mauritius. Yet, as I’m writing this, on Monday morning, I realise that even though I should have had more time to do what I had to do, I in fact did not. I even didn’t have the time to check out WordPress and check my mail as I used to!

What happened exactly?

Well, on Friday, I got my hair cut (again haha, I tend to keep it as short as a boy’s), then since it was a holiday I went to my grandma’s and during my spare time, I blogged (my last post) and did Art homework. Fine.

It was on Saturday that I lost it.

My mind, I guess.

losing my mind

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Am I A Workaholic?

workaholicFrom Wikipedia, “A workaholic is a person who is addicted to work. The term generally implies that the person enjoys their work; it can also imply that they simply feel compelled to do it.”

Okay… Personally, I don’t like factual definitions, thus let’s continue in my own way:

I’ve never really thought about it in the past, but I might be a workaholic. How?

The thing is I don’t only enjoy working (here, I don’t consider work as the thing you do to earn a living since I’m still a teen, but I’m talking about everything that demands physical or mental effort) or feel compelled to work (that would be school work) but I also search for work. What I mean is that I like to keep myself busy. I’d hate to remain idle one moment. That’s why I’ve got so many hobbies.

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The Most Tragic Love Story

Another Picture it & Write! And my contribution to this week’s picture…

girl suicides in bath tub

 

The most tragic of all love stories is one in which two people secretly love each other and yet…

Tracy thought that she had never met such a man as Kev. To any girl of the school, he was just like any other guy: not too muscular, nor too fragile; not too keen on sports, nor too geeky; not too handsome, nor too disgusting. He had plain dark eyes and hair, and his dressing code was rather the same every day: a boring T-shirt and a used pair of jeans.

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An Evil Nymph’s 2012 Overview! (Happy New Year 2013!)

Hi everyone! On this New Year’s Eve, I’ll be doing everything that needs to be done for this last day of 2012, mainly, the WordPress Weekly Photo Challenge: My 2012 in Pictures, the WordPress annual report, some ramblings on the 2012-13 transition…

First of all, for this week’s photo challenge, it was suggested that we present 12 photos at least in a gallery to make an overview of 2012, but I’m going to break the rules and thus here’s my contribution:

My 2012 in 1 Picture

writing feather and ink

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Is It The End Of The World Yet?

In a few hours, as predicted by the Mayans – or more precisely, the media – we will all be die. It is the end of our world.

Or not.

2012 end of the world

Do you believe in any of this? I don’t. In about 2 hours, here it will be the 22/12/12 and there still hasn’t been any tsunami warning or violent cyclones or incoming flood or deadly earthquakes… Or not even snow. (NB: it never snows in tropical regions, so if there will ever be snowing here in Mauritius, I believe it might be a reason to get worried.)

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The Art Of… Writing To Myself

Hey! As you might have noticed, I am temporarily taking a break from my ‘Unpredicted’ series since I’m in the middle of the final exams period, which led me to get depressed before it started, then when it started I actually got sick and it just became a mess in my head… Nevertheless I happened to get inspiration for song lyrics, which you can enjoy here, but then I got a little depressed again and stressed and left alone in the past weekend because of more revision work…

And that’s – weirdly – how I got to develop a new little hobby: writing letters to my younger self.

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