Feeling Homesick In Your Own Home

*FYI: This post was looong overdue.

I think this is the worst feeling in the world: to go home and realise you feel like a complete stranger.

It’s been two weeks since I returned to Mauritius, my home country, definitively. I had said my goodbyes in Malaysia, knowing that I may not go back there anytime soon. The last weeks spent with my friends were a blast; for once, I spent my money like I was really on vacation (after being on a student budget for so long!).

My first week in Mauritius was not too bad, mainly because I did go back for about a month in October and also because I immediately started working.

The homesickness didn’t come all at once or in full-force. It came gradually, like a wave. It comes into little cracks, cracks you don’t know about. It starts when I catch myself checking Instagram less and less, fearing that I’ll miss my ‘old life’. It is here when Saturday comes and all of my close friends are abroad. On Friday nights.

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What Does Happiness Mean At 22?

Most of the time, people mistake ‘happiness’ as the life goal. A destination we have yet to reach. But you have heard of that ‘Instagrammable’ inspirational quote which says that happiness is, instead, the journey.

Unfortunately, quotes don’t solve any problem. And sometimes, they are so simplified that we tend to misunderstand them. Yes, I agree that happiness is the journey, but it doesn’t mean that our new goal is to now be happy all the time. That’s where people get the concept of happiness wrong: it is not constant. Your journey doesn’t have to be always bright and beautiful. There will be storms.

It’s time to delete that misconception from your neurotic pathways. Happiness is not constant. If, after reading the quote, you’ve set yourself to achieve 100% happiness in your day-to-day, you are bound to failure and disappointment. Happiness isn’t the destination, but it is not entirely the journey either.

So what is happiness? And how dare a 22-year-old like me lecture you on such ‘wisdom’?

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Post-Graduation Blues: What’s Next?

This is the post that I’ve been struggling to write. It’s this post that I couldn’t bring myself to publish. I didn’t blog for a month because of it.

I could just have brushed it off and removed it from my schedule. But I do insist on putting it out there. Then, we can go back to posts like the one I wrote last week on Asian movies.

Among all the blogs I’ve written, this is the only one that is still going strong 6 years later. Among all of them, this is the only one which I deem to be my ‘personal’ one. A blog that’s for everything and anything. No niche, no marketing. Just you and me.

And that’s why I wanna share this part of my life with you.

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Have I Given Up On Travelling?

Honestly, this post was so hard to write. My thoughts are all over the place and I apologise.

***

I’ve had this blog post idea for a long time now. It’s been on my list of ‘topics to write on’ for months.

The original title was “I gave up on travelling.” But I decided to change it. Why?

Who I was months ago had a different perspective and mindset when she wrote that title. Who I am now has gone through a lot of post-graduation thoughts about the future… and some kind of epiphany about who, where, how I want to be.

Back then, even though I didn’t seem like it, I was against travelling as a student, unless you could afford it, i.e. your parents are freaking tolerant about you spending their money (mine aren’t).

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A WordPress.com Blog VS Self-Hosting Website: My Experience

A few posts back, I was writing about how I was going to create my official writer’s website as I’m starting my after-undergrad life as a freelance writer, sort of.

Since then (although it was only a few weeks/days ago), things have changed.

Well, I did launch a website.

But it’s not exactly a freelance writing website. After getting insightful feedback from the surveys I had posted, I realised that people were currently more interested in a Students’ Survival Guide than a freelance writing blog. And looking at my experience, I had way more valuable stories to share in the ‘student’ category. After all, I had only just started freelancing, while I had been a University student for 3 years!

After days of thinking and brainstorming, I finally made the leap and bought my very first domain: dkwaye.com

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6 Ways To NOT Overspend—As A Student

Although the title specifies that the following methods to prevent overspending apply only to students, I actually believe that anyone can make use of the incoming advice. It’s just that it’s all coming from a student’s perspective, with a low allowance and who has only dealt with savings accounts her whole life. I’ve never even used a credit card although people my age or even younger already started to do so. Therefore, the advice might be limited… (and probably too extreme if you are earning a monthly full-time job salary) but it’s still worth a read 😉

And here we go:

1. Record your transactions.

A classic.

The first thing that my father told me before he left me to be on my own in Malaysia was to note down my expenses thoroughly in a notebook. To sit down every night and put everything in ink. Then, review the total amount of money spent at the end of each week and compare it to the already set budget that my parents had advised me to keep.

I believe this is a great way to control keep track of what you spend on and how much you spend. I did do it… for a semester. Unfortunately it does require quite a lot of effort and often I would just forget.

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Wrong Major, Right Path

I figured that university was probably not for me. But I kept going, because it was not about classes and grades anymore, but about that sense of belonging among your peers, the community that makes the institution truly alive in the first place.

People have told me several times that I’m good at academia. But I chose not to go with it. I did not enjoy it as much as getting my hands dirty. Academia is too lonely for me. I enjoy teamwork and concrete projects, though I did not know that side of mine before I had actually experienced it.

In the end, I’m left doing a degree I have no real passion for; I have no idea what I am going to do after this, but at the same time, I know exactly what I am going to do after this. Taking a right turn, not looking back. The trip is set.

As the year 2015 is ending, I’ve been giving a lot of thoughts about my future and this is what I am at now. It’s all even more blur and unstable than before. Yet, I have grown to know myself more, my needs, my happiness triggers. All of me never stay the same and that is, I believe, the beauty of what makes us human: we are full of possibilities; we change because nothing is ever fixed and it is those uncertainties that are closer to the truth of who we are.

On that note, merry Christmas and happy new year 2016!

An Evil Nymph.

P.S.: Also partly published in my Dayre: dayre.me/dkwaye