The War Against Myself

Here’s this week’s Picture it & Write and my contribution:

Purple and blue are my favourite colours. When I look at them, they stare back at me with a face of helplessness and despair.

Does that mean that I’m a desperate girl?

Maybe.

Not.

I looked down at my naked body, feeling my skin over my palm. It was not smooth. The black feathers, they have started to grow. Again. It would not be too long now.

No, I was a rebel.

I was angry. I was filled with hatred. But I wanted more.

I was thirsty. For blood. For deaths.

I yearned to see hurt in people’s eyes.

So that they knew what I was feeling. How I have suffered as well.

I snickered.

Do you know what it feels like to have this desire to cry all the time? How it is so hard to hold these tears back, but then trying to fake a smile instead? Do any one of you know what it feels like to have a fate? To not be in control of your future and be a victim of circumstances?

To be… doomed?

I am trapped. Stuck in a prison of the most beautiful things, but which are deadly destructive inside. Like success, glory, money. These look attractive at first, but in the long run… Hypocrite things they are!

In the long run, I could no more eat food but feed myself with the pain, fear, misery… of others, of course. As people would crumble, I would eventually rise. A merciless game.

But then, I found hope.

I found Love.

And that was when I decided to fight.

Against myself. Against my destiny.

The bright colours of happiness were outside, waiting for me. I only had to…

I banged my body against the hard purple and blue wall. Again and again. But it was made of an elastic matter. It would only stretch farther away into my darkness, instead of breaking into the light.

Could I ever break free?

I cut my black hair, those dark venomous snakes, and tore off my black wings, made of raven feathers. Then I hit the wall again.

In vain.

I was badly hurt by the time I came to exhaustion. I was naked. Powerless.

I was made of evil. It was plain useless to deny it. And it was growing again. Everywhere on my body. The hatred, the hurt…

Revenge.

No, I would not give up. The reward was too priceless: happiness. Brighter colours. Love had called me, which meant that I was not completely evil after all. There was something good and beautiful inside of me. I just have to break through the purple and blue.

I swear I will win this war.

An Evil Nymph.