What’s Next In 2018?

I think it’s time I stop apologising for not writing on this blog for a long period of time; it has almost become like a regular blogging pattern by itself.

Ever since I left Mauritius in 2014 to pursue a Bachelor of Arts in Malaysia I’ve been finding less and less time for blogging on this blog. But I’ve been writing more. Writing assignments and essays, then it slowly evolved to writing online articles and more assignments for companies who paid me.

I remember that getting paid for my writing was a huge achievement for me. I had this feeling of ‘I made it’. I had always wanted to prove to the world that I was meant to be a writer (although I did mean fiction writer…). But then, it wasn’t so special anymore. Writing is now just a job.

Feeling Homesick In Your Own Home

*FYI: This post was looong overdue.

I think this is the worst feeling in the world: to go home and realise you feel like a complete stranger.

It’s been two weeks since I returned to Mauritius, my home country, definitively. I had said my goodbyes in Malaysia, knowing that I may not go back there anytime soon. The last weeks spent with my friends were a blast; for once, I spent my money like I was really on vacation (after being on a student budget for so long!).

My first week in Mauritius was not too bad, mainly because I did go back for about a month in October and also because I immediately started working.

The homesickness didn’t come all at once or in full-force. It came gradually, like a wave. It comes into little cracks, cracks you don’t know about. It starts when I catch myself checking Instagram less and less, fearing that I’ll miss my ‘old life’. It is here when Saturday comes and all of my close friends are abroad. On Friday nights.

Not Giving Up: Why Is It So Hard?

Throughout my life, I’ve found it easier to give up on my professional dreams rather than relationships. Ever since I was a young teenager, I’d be discouraged to pursue anything ‘artsy’ as a career path. But at school, with my friends, I’d learnt to never give up on your feelings.

I was allowed to love, but I wasn’t allowed to dream. 

The term ‘unrequited love’ was the definition of my love life for as long as I remember falling in love. Yet, it only made sense to me to keep on trying. I’d get rejected by a guy, but as soon as another guy would come along, I’d forget all about the previous one and pursue the next.

Post-Graduation Blues: What’s Next?

This is the post that I’ve been struggling to write. It’s this post that I couldn’t bring myself to publish. I didn’t blog for a month because of it.

I could just have brushed it off and removed it from my schedule. But I do insist on putting it out there. Then, we can go back to posts like the one I wrote last week on Asian movies.

Among all the blogs I’ve written, this is the only one that is still going strong 6 years later. Among all of them, this is the only one which I deem to be my ‘personal’ one. A blog that’s for everything and anything. No niche, no marketing. Just you and me.

And that’s why I wanna share this part of my life with you.

Am I Even Mauritian?

This is a list of why I don’t feel like I’m Mauritian.

The Beach

I’ve lived in front of a waterfront and within 10-15 minutes from a beautiful beach for 19 years, and frankly, I don’t miss it. I haven’t been to a beach for more than a year, and I don’t care. That’s also why I’ve never been interested into travelling to ‘beach’ islands around Malaysia.

Language

The most common language Mauritians use to communicate with one another is Mauritian Creole. But my mum conditioned me to only speak French; she used to scold me if I spoke Creole when I was young. I do understand Creole and people do talk to me in Creole, but I always reply back in French. I just can’t bring myself to speak the Mauritian dialect.

Why I Don’t Like Parties

I’m a student living abroad on my own, and I don’t like to party.

I have no curfew, no parental restrictions, and I’m allowed to drink. I still don’t enjoy partying.

Let me give you the definition of ‘party’ at university (at least in my circle), to clear things up: clubbing. Dressing up and then getting drunk (preferably before going to the clubbing area—a whole row of loud bars and clubs), and then hopping a few clubs before finding one that you and your friends really like, I guess?—and finally go home with a hangover in the early hours of the morning.

But of course, everyone’s definition of ‘partying’ is different. For me, going clubbing used to be: dressing up as if you were going to a fancy dinner, drinking, dancing (this was actually our favourite part) and finally going home.

The 4 Core Values I Stand For

On Friday 17th February, I completed my internship at Mossery, a stationery brand startup that crafts beautiful customisable planners, sketchbooks and notebooks to the world. However, what I really found special about the company was its huge emphasis on nurturing and communicating values.

Throughout the 2 months and a half (or so) period I was there, I eventually started thinking about my own values. Everyone has a set of values they live by, but I was never really conscious of mine before. Finally, after some deep soul-searching, I figured out 4 core values that I’ve been following pretty much my whole life. And I’m sharing them here, in the hopes that you too will be inspire to look for your own.

1. Ancora imparo.

I am still learning. Okay, so it’s funny but this is the slogan of Monash university, which is basically how I discovered that beautiful, empowering yet humble phrase. At core, we, as human beings, will never cease to learn. If we want to grow, we have to keep on learning.

The Joy of Being Alone

Disclaimer: This was written on Saturday 26th November, on the way back home. A short piece, unedited, that I just felt like sharing. 

***

I’ve forgotten how to be alone.

I’ve forgotten how it feels to appreciate a meal outside of my home with my own company.

I’ve forgotten how to take solo adventures, like little trips to the city, and reflect on myself.

This year has been the least lonely year I have ever lived. From being part of a committee, to a community to a family. I’ve constantly been surrounded by friends. I’ve been left with very little time to myself.

So when the last semester of the year was over, I was left with mixed feelings. I was eager to go back to a tranquil lonely life, yet I was also apprehensive of it.

5th Blog Anniversary | Reflecting On Where I Stand, My Future Career, My Vision

Actually An Evil Nymph’s Blog blog anniversary was on the 1st August and it wasn’t until WordPress congratulated me on that milestone that I realised it. I knew 1st August was something special! Dang it!

Anyways, at that time, I had just published a post a few hours earlier and so I decided to wait a little more before putting up a proper ‘Happy Blog Anniversary’ post. However, yes, since I’m back to school and new into my third year, my responsibilities got in the way. In fact, I would have completely forgotten about blogging it if it was not for my Google Calendar, in which I have set a goal to blog once a week.

That’s how crazy life gets when the semester starts and you are involved in many things, including being a (High, sometimes) Distinction student. I literally need my phone to remind me of everything, haha!

Anyway, it’s been five years, guys. Five years since I started blogging. I can’t describe how much it has opened my eyes to the world… and my own. My blogging style has changed a lot throughout the years, but I believe that the main reason I got so immersed in blogging was not only my passion for writing, but my search for who I am, an identity, to find myself. 

Feeling Fat

When I was a young carefree teenager, my dad would often tell me: “You should lose weight.” I was criticized for my fat belly and was told that if I didn’t do anything about it, I would never find a husband.

Thank god, I didn’t give a damn about ‘looking good’ or ‘finding a man’. I had read and learnt countless of times how girls tend to fall under the illusion that they are not beautiful enough and that they never will, unless they resemble those super thin top models in magazines. I’ve seen how detrimental of their self-esteem it was to constantly compare their bodies to those Photoshop’ed ones… or to their prettier (a.k.a. more socially acceptable body types) peers. I’ve heard about very strict diet that could potentially lead to death.

I learnt from an early age to love my body and to eat all the things I love (in moderation, of course) and to not be defined by someone else’s perception of ‘beauty’. I encouraged myself to be an independent woman, and to be aware that if I wanted a man, that man would not have the right to shape my body to fit his ‘ideals’ (impossible ones indeed), but would instead accept me as I am.

The Past, Who We Are and Other Thoughts

It feels like it’s been ages since I last posted on this blog.

This was mainly because I’ve been doing a lot of thinking (which eventually also includes writing, reading and watching anime/TV series ^^).

Three months’ school holiday is way too long, although it’s been filled with seeing new horizons, since I’m in a foreign country, but at some point it pretty much fucks your mind, especially if you’re living on your own. You start getting all deeply philosophical and start questioning every aspect of life.

Or is it just me?

I’d like to share a few of those haunting thoughts that have been following me for a while… and hopefully read your comments afterwards:

1. On Mirrors

I don’t know if I’ve talked about this here but I moved to a cheaper residence at the start of the year and among the furniture available in my room there was no sign of a mirror! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not your vain narcissist typical girl, but I enjoy making up outfits in front of a tall mirror and… well I simply have this ‘strong liking’ for mirrors. Therefore the mirror chase was on! My friend also joined me because she happened to want a mirror as well (peer influence XD). We were of course looking for the cheap options so we looked a little everywhere and took our time before we finally settled on those specific budget-friendly-but-nice-quality mirrors…

Anyway, this whole ‘chase’, that lasted about a month, made me think of something very peculiar about mirrors. It all started when my friend taught me how to know the difference in quality in the glass of the mirror (quite simple actually: just look into both mirrors one after the one and check for any ‘deformities’ in terms of how your body is being reflected… If your head is way bigger than your body you obviously know it’s not a good mirror…). She thus wouldn’t choose a mirror because it didn’t reflect her ‘normally’ i.e. the way she thinks her body is.

This was when the discussion started and my thoughts started to grow.

But how does she know how she is? If one thinks about it, no one can see oneself, except through reflecting glass, like a mirror, but if my friend just proved me that the mirrors can be flawed, then in truth, one can definitely never see oneself.

Why Do I Want To Be A Writer?

This is a common question that is often asked, although very hard to answer. It’s like asking: why do you like chocolate? or why do you like that particular colour?

But I finally got an answer!! Sometimes, it’s really helpful to think WAY too much… 😉

So… why do I want to be a writer? Why did my 9-year-old self have this dream and passion and why, even after a decade, do I still have it?

BOOKS VS MOVIE ADAPTATIONS!

This has been and, I feel, will always be a never-ending debate in our world. Books being adapted into movies. Bookworms against the cinematic world. In in this post, I just want to share my opinion about this issue.

Or opinions.

Actually my point of view about this subject has evolved as the years have passed, through the three stages as follows:

Stage 1:

I know most of you have been in this mindset: THE BOOK IS WAY BETTER THAN THE MOVIE!!!

Yes don’t worry I sided 100% with books too a few years earlier. I would always read first, or even if I couldn’t do so, still I would fiercely be excited about how the movie is so different and how the book was like… GOD, compared to a mere mortal…

I think it’s childish though that kind of behaviour… It’s stubborn as well and today it only reminds me of narrow-mindedness (like homophobia, though that’s too much of a serious thing) and… well, fangirling, which I always tend to frown at, although I admit I totally fangirl about Game of Thrones haha!

It’s Never Too Late… For A Selfie!

It’s never too late for a new blog post either!

For those of you who love to participate in the Weekly Photo Challenge as much as I do you may notice how the title relates to the fact that I haven’t been blogging for two weeks but I really want to remedy to that by still giving a shot at one of the challenges I missed which was ‘Selfie’.

1st take:

You can actually find this photo on my Instagram. Follow me @dkwaye !